10 Things You Never Knew About Frogs
Frogtastic Facts
Bing Crosby Boxing
Punching singers in the mouth.
The Discovery of Vitamin G
Great moments in science.
Crystal N.R.G.
Harnessing the mystical bollocks of the universe.
Bristletech Industries
Do you need to grow a beard? Fast?
The Aromatron
A whole new world of smells awaits you.
For Kids of All Ages...
Introducing our new range of children's books.
It's a Fact!
More facts from the Funky Fact Feller.
Digital Vicars
The secret ways that vicars communicate?
Donald Fact's Fact Blast
It's a Fact, brought to you by Crunchy Flakes.
Puzzle Page!
With the amazing Mr Ooluv.
The Square Root of Green
Fresh breakthrough in the science of colourology.
Marmaduke Irksome: A Retrospective
Talking crap in the House of Commons.
Fine Dining
with Woodroffe Spanker
Ralph Trundle: F1 Driver
We talk to a legend of the circuit
Slugbond
Because an inflated slug is a happy slug.
Words of wisdom from our resident medic
...Tigers ...Moles ...Farm Machinery ...Hypnotism ...Fruit ...Soap ...Implants ...Pianos ...Happy Clappers ...The Environment
The Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment
Get your wonky flappers straightened here
The Unusual Suspects
A message from Det. Insp. Barker Harris.
Food Banking
MPs praise growing industry.
Shepton Bassett - A Vision for the Future
Better late than never, our town plan.
Cake Rage
Pastry related assaults.
Art
Selwyn Peach paints Elephants
Criminal Offence Self-Assessment Form
Tick the box if you're a wrong 'un.
Mr & Mrs Pottle are Lost Again
Why can't these people just stay at home?
It's a Fact
Fun facts from the Fact Master. Fank you.
Fleegle
New number has consequences for the future of the universe. And bingo.
Historic Knees
Knees of outstanding natural beauty.
Hear and Now
For collectors of rare and unusual sounds.
Did Man Really Go To Belgium?
The dark truth behind the Belgian conspiracy
The Devil's Arse On Tour
Famous cavern to tour country
Cold Fusion Sandwiches
A new era in atomic lunches.
Your Staff Feedback, Your Way
Tired of hearing from ungrateful and misguided staff?
Announcing the iSpong
Totally changing the way that people spong in the future.
Punctuation Crisis
We're running out of apostrophes.
Scoop!
Local frog trapped in drain.
Squeak Off
The big noise in footwear technology.
Dilbert's Donkey Solutions
Professional donkey storage.
Whose Legs Are These?
The gameshow for all the family
Jaggedy
Mrs Lubricant wants a tidiery Britain.
Brick II
Recycling the rubble.
Product Recall
Some of our biscuits may contain canoes.
Diagnosis
Professor Wimple has a dirty mouth.
Dark Batter
Is the missing mass in the Universe actually pastry?
Dolby Noise Reduction Sausages
Cut out the hiss next breakfast time.
Veg-U-Like
Tomatoes, cauliflower, brussel sprouts and peas - collect the whole set.
Help a Pirate in Need
These buccaneers desperately need your support.
Some People You've Never Heard Of
Rancid Alan Grease and others.
Mind Your Wind
Issued by the Ministry of Gas, 1942.
We're No Longer Recruiting...
...but here are some of the unlucky applicants
Spooky Doings
The magazine of weird and improbable stuff.
British Gas
Sending foreign gas back home.
How to Look After Your Cement Mixer
A great addition to any home.
Are you ready for Digital Ornithology?
Analogue birds are about to be switched off.
Sounds of Nature
Relax with chickens.
What's On in Lower Bumpstead
A packed programme, following that unfortunate incident with the fire eater.
The Alternative Olympics
Speed swingball and dodgem rallying.
Tony Fold's Country Rambles
with guest rambler, Rory Triffic.
The Fish Olympics
Piscine polevaulting and haddock hurdles.
The Trivial Accident Group
Have you been slightly inconvenienced at work?
Well Stuffed
Rogue taxidermist terrorises family pets.
Spread the Good Word!
Your chance to buy shares in the Salvation Army!
Kicking Up a New Stink
Breakthrough leads to discovery of new smell.
An Old Fart Remembers
Do you remember Puthering Day?
Tripping the Dark Fantastic
Hello darkness my old friend
Forward to the '80s
How we'll all be travelling in the '80s.
Motorcycle Display Teams
A bunch of blokes twatting about on bikes.
Something Happened on Tuesday
Probably, but we're not sure what.
Piffin: A Mediterranean Paradise
Boasting Europe's biggest landfill.
Operation Mutton
The millitary applications of sheep during WWII.
Gin!
Gin, gin and more gin!
World of Holes
Europe's leading stockist of quality holes.
Maxi-Lingual for Motorists
Curse fluently in over six languages.
Maisy Donnington's Cheese Etiquette Page
Your guide to the wonderful world of cheese.
Traffic Watch
Heavy vibes are causing delays on the A52.
Octo-Fever
Are you allergic to octopuses?
The Kidderminster Lemon Exchange
Open now for faster, more reliable lemon exchange.
Sofas are From Mars...
The race to put the first sofa on Mars.
Short and Curly
Unlocking the power of curly hair.
Doing Lengths
Mr Zing is swimming from pole to pole
Brixham Trouser Museum
The UK 's premier trouser experience.
Bean Legacy
This summer, Christian Bale is Mr Bean.
Petunia Mulch
Plant psychologist.
How To Be Sweary
with Professor Timothy Bottom.
The Great Space Exhibition
Glorious innovations and technical marvels!
Maisy Donnington's Office Safety
How to avoid the business end of a stapler.
Inside the Nun Factory
Where do nuns come from?
Oven Chimps
With none of the greasy aftertaste of regular monkeys.
The Ultimate Procrastination Suite
Just been handed a project but can't be bothered to get started?
Cheese Genome Finally Cracked!
Scientific proof of the existence of cheese.
Rod Stewart and Enya's Rock 'n' Roll Mysteries
Solving crimes and fighting bad guys.
Gentlemen's Etiquette
How to behave right proper and all that.
Auras by Post?
Spruce up your chakras
Yeti Makeover
Mrs Stenchtrouser is planning an expedition.
Barney's Magic Wonder Show
Belinda Sommers reviews the latest production.
'Ello 'Ello 'Ello, What's All This Then?
Presenting The Metropolitan Police Choir.
No More Glasses!
Fry sausages with just a wink of the eye.
Tax, What Tax?
Sir John Wyndrell has never heard of his own company.
Bad Grandma Grammar
The inappropriate erection of words.
Topping Talent
Featuring the Marvellous Undersea Kingdom of Colin Chocolate.
Is Your Tortoise Roadworthy?
Important news from the Ministry of Tortoises.
An Important Announcement about Fish
Clever trout and erudite pilcards.
Death By Pastry
A huge pie just hanging in space.
Why Your Printer Doesn't Work
Most of these devices are allergic to paper.
Blood Donors Needed
Please bleed into the envelope provided.
A Ding-Dong Duvets
Prof Reynaud pulls a fast one.
Arty Tomatoes
Guy Pakker's latest artistic venture.
The Thoroughfare of Success
Dick Smidgen teaches you how to live your life but better.
The Battersea Wigs Home
We never put a healthy wig down.
The Language of Dance
Jazz hands and quickstep.
Buy Our Shampoo
Just buy it, ok.
Persons Unknown
Mr Frampton is looking for somoeone to blame.
Wind Tunnel Technician
Pardon?
Scrufty's Magic Juju Shoppe
A tale of oconker mismanagement.
Comfy Dinners
A meal fit for a bed.
Skydiving
Skydiving without the unnecessary inconvenience of a parachute.
No Offence
The Right Honourable David McGog unapologetically apologises.
Maisy Donnington's Guide to Perking Yourself Up
Turn that frown upside down.
Baby's First Swear
Teach your little angel to swear like a trooper.
The National Key Museum!
We've got keys!
Astralguard
Insurance for Astral Travellers.
The World Bullshit Record
Team bonding, goal setting and table top brainstorming
The Prime Time Gameshow Generator
As used by TV executives worldwide.
Empire of the Flowers
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Operation Growbag.
The Long Range Trouser Forecast
Overnight corduroys and occasional dungarees.
Optimum Leaning Angles
How to look cool and interesting at an angle.
Shark Fishing
Fergus Pong has a shark problem.
Top Twenty Albums of the '70s
With Ricky Stratocaster, professor of twangology.
Here Comes Barry Smith
Wise words from Shepton Bassett's number one coach driver.
Ricky Stratocaster's History of Rock
Award for Outstanding Celebrity
New awards for old has-beens
Shave the Moon
Our hairy satellite.
Carter-Pierrepoint
Particulate mapping of key delivery nodes.
Buttock Express
Your arse in our hands.
Wisbech
Theft of town exposed as hoax.
History in Focus
An elbow shaker and a lickspittling mumblecrust
Pigchums
Meet likeminded pigs in your area!
Space Things
The continuing adventures of Astro Cat.
Munchy Burger
Can you cut the mustard as a top burger executive?
Centuri Space Supplies
Second hand space travel
Cooker Island
Where the toasters roam free.
One-Sided Dice
One-Sided Dice for Fatalists.
Mrs Womble writes...
Knitting in Colour
This day in 1956 saw the introduction of the first regular colour knitting patterns.
International Arse Kicking
Bottom kicking for fun and profit.
Doing the Lord's Work
Vicars on the job.
New Rights for Fictional Characters
It's no longer ok to call Oliver Twist a twat.
Moroccan Dancing Moles
David Attenburger's Wonderful World of Nature.
The Wonderful World of Ants
Ants, ants, ants, ants!
Happismiles Emergency Clown Service
For when your regular clown lets you down.
How Long is a Piece of String?
The hit gameshow for all the family.
Glen Twerk is not at Work
Caveat emptor, quo vadis.
Pooley's Fire Distinguisher
Put paid to that firey bullshit.
Grampion Strangely's Mountain Rescue
These vulnderable mountains need your help.
Cock
The magazine for young gentlemen.
Gerald de Scooter's Restaurant Guide
Top notch swanky grub,
Exploding Dinners
Put the fun back into dinner time.
The Bleeding Obvious
You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
Pretty Pictures
Better management through crayons.
Professional Scarer
GRRRRRR! AAAAARRRRGH! GRRRR!
Teaching Carrots to Fly
The cutting edge of vegetable warfare.
The Sandwich Advisor
Buying a sandwich is the third most stressful thing you can do.
Drive-by Wallpapering
Delinquent decorating.
Some more stupid than others.
Barry Buys a Broom
Dirty Doings at Featherstone Manor
Board Meeting
The Day Before Tomnorrow
Tall Story in a Short Glass
The Hedgehog King
The Mystery of the Shitfaced Man
Venus by Catapult
You Again
Death, Doom and Disaster
Goldilocks and the Free Bears
The Embarrasment of Nasal Hair Loss
Nostril wigs for all occasions
Mathew Sandblaster-Trogg
A bouncy little freak.
St Tiddles in the Font
Parish newsletter.
Rationalising Britain's River Network
Britain's waterways need straightening,
The Delusion of J Henry Proudfoot
We meet an alien archaeologist.
World of the Wacky
With the Amazing Mr Ooluv
Sugar Free Vegan Diesel
There's no butter in it either.
An Open Letter to Shepton Bassett Park & Zoo
Sorry about your monkeys.
Metal Detecting
German U-Boat Found on Devon Beach.
Pigmongering
Fergus Pong introduces us to this dying art.
Donald Fact's Fact Breakers
Remembering the classic '70s kids' show.
Have you got what it takes to stay in the country?
Be a great Briton. Or get out.
So Special
Special beauty therapies for very special people.
SciFi Fan Draws a Blank
Publisher leaves pages blank to cut costs.
Introducing Flying Squirrels
Flying into the side of a house at forty knots...
Feathered Friends
Could you befriend a lonely parrot?
Ant Facts
with Donald Fact.
Jazz Bomb
Raw unadulterated jazz.
Galactic Phrasebook
Learn to speak Venusian!
Night of the Womble
Unpublished Womble book is dystopian nightmare.
In the market for a used policeman?
How to spot a dodgy copper.
Dream Strides
Emergency trousers delivered direct to your anxiety nightmare.
Out and About
The International Toast Museum and other attractions.
The Horse-Drawn Record Player
Equestrian technology.
A Very Local Paper
All the news that's local to Mr Henry Droop, Littlehampton.
Songs of Inspiration
Jesus Wants Me For His Darts Team.
Echo...Echo
Mr Clutterbuck has an echo... echo... echo.
Welcome to Stick World
If you like sticks, well, we've got sticks.
A Fistful of Sausages
Brought to you by the meat marketing board.
Petty Complaints Ombudsman
Giving your batshit insade complaints the respect they deserve.
Anti-Assertiveness Classes
Tone it down a bit.
Not Funny
Prof Jez Moonbeam is laughable.
Core Competencies in Office Furniture
Sign up for a certificate in filing cabinets.
Butterfly
Prof Jim Spanners explains chaos theory
Noblock and Kerfanderbuck
All smileytangled cockrock strop.
Jars-4-u
Get your jars opened by a professional jar opener!
Stuff Your Bleeding Job
How to resign digracefully.
Dougal Fridgely
Possible dwarf planet discovered in Tadcaster
The Wackiest Person in the UK
Alison Perkins is a mad as a fish.
It's All in the Game
Classic board games from the past.
Thinking of Buying an Octopus?
How to look after your squishy friend.
What Is It?
How what why when who where and when? Hello?
Barry the Road Safety Owl
No nonsense advice from a wise old bird
Global Moistening
Fear of a wet planet.
A Career in Printing
Why not specialise in the colour green?
Machiavelli Management Solutions
Discipline over distance.
Fraudulent Bananas
Phony fruit.
Typists of the Kalahari
Shorthand tigers and double entry hippos.
Old Clothes
Trading Standards warn against dangerously out of date clobber.
Twenty-First Century Scouting
A woggle for the new miilenium.
A Sustained Corporate Battering
We're concerned about Mr Pyle
Cosmos Rocks
In an infinite universe, there is no limit to human gullibility.
So You've Got a New Manager?
How to stop it crapping in your in tray.
Caught by the Fuzz
New Recruitment Initiatives within the UK Police Force.
Evening Courses
Pseudo-academic subjects and frivolous arts and crafts courses.
Fats Porker - Blues Whinger
In memory of Crappsville's finest son.
Quality Service at Pooley's
With our motoring correspondent, Martin Carburetor.
Poot
Bigger, Better, Faster, Now!
National Consumer Instructions Awards
Confusing, badly translated or just plain weird.
Eazee-post
Taking the pain out of internet forums.
Linguini!
Learn to speak fluent pasta.
Mr Gammon's Objections
Shepton Bassett Council Responds
Cut Price Chips
You like chips? You like lots of chips?
The Beaufort Scale
Slight wafts and uninvited pumps.
Bare-knuckle Snooker
The biggest threat to law and order since badminton
Nuclear Garden
Mr Sideboard is not happy about his exploding shed.
New Deposits of Earwax Discovered
Significant quantities discovered in Mr Harry Frome
Flexi Mortem
The only credit card you can use after death.
Local Heroes
Outstanding achievements in the field of vandalism.
Selling Crap for Fun and Profit
The very best in useless tat.
Man Blames ESA for Domestic Eclipse
Mr Cravat is not happy about where they park their stuff.
Dobbins of Doncaster
Get yourself a quality ass.
Travel News
Cowboys on the line and bricked up tunnels,
Fatquake
A sad farewell to the world's fatest man.
Cash for Pets
Trade in your unwanted dog.
The Drivelling
Troubled Hammer film gets new release.
Mr Bannerman's Evidence
Courtroom confusion.
Extreme Dinosaurs
Skateboarding plesiosaurs, rollerblading raptors and a brontosaurus with a space hopper.
Amateur Stamp Collector Collector
Want to know how much to pay for a Nigel Tomlinson?
Lillywhite Lenny
On the importance of staying on the fecking horse.
Know Your Birds
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Modern Day Bird Warfare
Debt Matters
Making you aware of your debt.
Christopher Columbus Discoveries Inc
If you've lost it, Chris will find it.
Staff Handbook
A handy guide to your new workplace.
Cosmic Background Apathy
Will the universe keep expanding until it can't be bothered anymore?
Neighbor Nightmares: The Movie
Two men, one drive, no prisoners.
Rob Hammond's Essential Guide to Buddhism
Rob Hammond will give you a spiritual kicking,
Emergency Kebabs
When you absolutely positively need a kebab.
Greygolds Residential Care Home
Where quality care costs extra.
Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery
Save cash - fix your own pets in the comfort of your own home.
Things Fall Over All the Time
Arthur's train only has wheels on one side.
Jehovah's Cleaners
Because cleanliness is nexr to godliness.
The Shepton Bassett Village Fete
In aid of the St Tiddles in the Font Restoration Fund.
Harry Carson is Watching You
It's a man's life as a modern store detective.
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