Sounds of Nature presents...

 

Relax with Chickens

 

Nature has a symphony of her own: the crash of waves upon the shore, the song of the whale, the chattering babble of a brook and the haunting whistle of the wind.

These sounds can put us in touch with our inner selves, awaken our primal instincts and allow us to feel the heartbeat of our planet.

CD Selection

Well, Sounds of Nature have now released a whole new range of inspirational CDs that will energise and stimulate your spirit, utilising the powerful reinvigorating forces of Mother Earth herself.

Relax with Chickens is a ninety-minute journey through a battery farm, complete with excited squawking and straining noises, and is an ideal way to relax after a hard day at the office.

Meanwhile, Ducks Belching demonstrates Mother Nature at her most playful, and is guaranteed to bring a smile to the face of the weariest of souls.

The full collection of 12 CDs can be yours now for the limited offer price of just £10.49. Plus! Buy now and receive Two Dogs Shagging absolutely free. To order, simply cut the coupon out of your screen and send it to the address on the reverse.

 

Please rush me the latest collection of pretentious New Age claptrap. I don't get out a lot and I watch QVC far too much, so I'd probably end up blowing the cash on geodes, or aromatherapy oil, or candles anyway.

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Remember, these CDs are not available in the shops - because I just made them up - but you'll probably be able to find something very similar.

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The University of the Bleeding Obvious's Private Bits

Private Bits

72 pages of previously unseen material including Formula 1 Shopping Trolley Racing, Knee Operations for Fruit Flies, Quantum Farming, a visit to The Book Crevice, Gary the Builder, and The Affair of the Flat Vicar, a brand new adventure for the eminent Belgian dick, Anton La Cranque.

All this and more will only be available in this volume as a PDF and is yours for a measly £1 - yes £1 (or whatever the equivalent is in your fancy foreign money). To download it now, click here.

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Private Bits

Private Bits

This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

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Blatant descrimination
The last remaining independently-owned high street business in the UK.
Incosiderate spacemen
Mrs Whitney has tigers behind her shed.
'They get awful jiggy, some of these horses.'
Madame Fifi LaTour reveals all
The transport of the future.
Quality donkeys at bargain prices
Shepton Bassett's number one coach driver.
...dressing tables are from Venus.

 

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