Munchy Burger

Job Application Form Part B:

Aptitude Test

Thank you for interest in our company. In order for us to assess whether you have the right qualities to join us at Munchy Burger, please complete the following test and return it along with your application.

1. When handling food it is essential to always:

a. Make sure you have recently washed your hands in a solution of nitric acid and cold sick.

b. Stab it repeatedly with a plastic fork to make sure that it's dead.

c. Gob on it out of sight of the customer

2. Food straight from the oven can be hazardous because:

a. It is burny hot ouch ouch

b. It is intrinsically evil

c. It is liable to explode

3. You should never punch a customer in the face because:

a. You might pull a muscle

b. They're probably bigger than you.

c. Because that's the manager's job

4. Why do you think it is important that burgers are served hot?

a. So they will show up on thermal imaging cameras

b. To keep the customers' hands warm

c. Dunno. Probably something to do with global warming.

5. According to official Munchy Burger policy, what is the correct definition of a vegetable?

a. Something they used to eat during the war.

b. Chocolate Muffins

c. Dopey Keith, the lad who mops out the toilets.

6. What do you think is meant by the term 'food safety'?

a. Don't cut yourself on the sharp edges of fries.

b. Putting a cheese burger in a witness protection scheme.

c. Keeping Dopey Keith away from the chicken nuggets.

7. Which of these statements best describes the principal of 'stock rotation'?

a. It's a means of duping the customer into believing food is fresh.

b. It's that revolving thing on the counter that we put the hot apple pies in.

c. Spinning doughnuts.

8. If a customer tried to pay with a Scottish £10 note, would you:

a. Ask to see his passport

b. Say "hoots mon, it's been a It's a braw, bricht, moonlicht nicht", put on a cd of bagpipe music, offer him a piece of shortbread, comment upon the cut of his kilt, polish his tam-o-shanter and earn yourself a smack in the mouth.

c. Thank him very much and give him his change in Monopoly money.

 

Please use this space to tell us why you want to work at Munchy Burger.

...........................................................................

...........................................................................

...........................................................................

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The Annual 2017

FREE Download

Or read it online here.

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015 The UBO Annual 2016 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Liposuction

A new approach to fat removal.

Promo Image

Electrosausages

Replacing your wiring with sausages.

Promo Image

Mail Order Tattoos

Over 600 designs available by post

Promo Image

Clown Hitman

Clown killer finally behind bars.

Promo Image

Appliances

More attacks by household appliances

Promo Image

Rod 'n' Enya's Rock 'n' Roll Mysteries

Quick Rod Stewart and Enya...

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

10 August 2017: Usherette Misses Out on Award Again

07 August 2017: Selling Crap for Fun and Profit

01 August 2017: Vapid