No More Glasses!

Perfect eyesight at last, thanks to
the miracle of modern laser eye surgery

Meet Kenton Cartwright. Since he was fourteen, Kenton has had to wear spectacles. They're heavy, unwieldy and they have stunted his growth. But now Kenton is finally free of the shackles of cumbersome eyewear thanks to the miracle of modern laser eye surgery. And Kenton is delighted.

"I'm delighted," Kenton told us. "Thanks to modern laser eye surgery I no longer have to suffer the discomfort and inconvenience of spectacles. And, as an added benefit, I am now able to shoot powerful high-energy laser beams from my eyes."

That's right, thanks to modern laser eye surgery, Kenton now not only enjoys 20/20 vision, but he can also fry sausages from a distance of six metres and boil eggs with a single wink. So, if you're fed up with annoying glasses and irritating contact lenses - and you're quite interested in having the ability to burn through six inch thick reinforced steel with just a glance - then give us a call today.

Occuloid LaserProbe International
112-110 Tortilla Mews
Monterrey
Mexico

(Alternatively, messages can be left with Mrs Toledo in the pastry shop next door)

 

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The Annual 2017

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Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015 The UBO Annual 2016 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

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Art

Selwyn Peach paints Elephants

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Professional Scarer

Interesting Jobs No 419

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Carter-Pierrepoint

Particulate mapping of key delivery nodes, ramped attainment actualisation, meta-directional outflow priorities and correctional forecasting (Tuesdays only).

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Hear and Now

Two Bongs from a Gong and Three quick ding-dongs in the night

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Petunia Mulch - Plant Psychologist

If you've got a drooping rose bush, a sagging hydrangea or a bent tulip then Petunia Mulch can help.

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Out now from Obvious Books

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