No More Glasses!

Perfect eyesight at last, thanks to
the miracle of modern laser eye surgery

 

Meet Kenton Cartwright. Since he was fourteen, Kenton has had to wear spectacles. They're heavy, unwieldy and they have stunted his growth.

But now Kenton is finally free of the shackles of cumbersome eyewear thanks to the miracle of modern laser eye surgery.

And Kenton is delighted.

"I'm delighted," Kenton told us. "Thanks to modern laser eye surgery I no longer have to suffer the discomfort and inconvenience of spectacles. And, as an added benefit, I am now able to shoot powerful high-energy laser beams from my eyes."

That's right, thanks to modern laser eye surgery, Kenton now not only enjoys 20/20 vision, but he can also fry sausages from a distance of six metres and boil eggs with a single wink.

So, if you're fed up with annoying glasses and irritating contact lenses - and you're quite interested in having the ability to burn through six inch thick reinforced steel with just a glance - then give us a call today.

 

Occuloid LaserProbe International
112-110 Tortilla Mews
Monterrey
Mexico

(Alternatively, messages can be left with Mrs Toledo in the pastry shop next door)

 

Return to Archive 3

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Kicking up a New Stink

Quentin Tote discovers a new smell.

Promo Image

Exploding Trousers

Guaranteed flameproof

Promo Image

Legion of Ultramen

Y'know, wouldn't it be just awesome to be able to fly, or be invisible or have like superpower x-ray vision, or something?

Promo Image

Darrens

Darrens are dying out in Essex.

Promo Image

Well Stuffed

Rogue taxidermist at large.

Promo Image

Out and About

Visit the Toast Museum in Stoke-on-Trent!

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

11 December 2019: Ricky Stratocaster's Forgotten Heroes

10 December 2019: Toaster Awareness

08 December 2019: The Patagonian Sneezing Fish

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
Copyright © 2002