Pretty Pictures

New research shows that giving senior managers colouring books significantly improves performance.

Typically, most people who reach the upper echelons of the corporate pyramid have very little to do with the day-to-day business of the organisation. However, this doesn't mean that they won't try to stick their oar in; and in doing so they usually demonstrate an extraordinary capacity to fuck things up for the people who do the actual work.

Rearranging the furniture

In many cases managers will content themselves with tidying up or rearranging the furniture - trivial interventions which nevertheless provide them with the sensation that they are exercising their authority and contributing to the enterprise as a whole.

As such, they never become more than a mild irritant and are generally very easily managed. The problems come when someone who is nominally 'in charge' exceeds their capabilities and starts messing around with something important in a foolish attempt to try and run the company.

Policies are changed for no reason, targets and deadlines become wildly unrealistic and legal obligations are cast aside in favour of legislation that the manager has just made up on the spot. This sort of behaviour inevitably has a devastating impact on efficiency, staff morale and customer confidence.

Complex puzzles

But researchers at Oxford University think they may have found a solution. They took a selection of senior managers and tried giving them complex puzzles to solve, such as crosswords, logic problems and Sudoku.

The thinking behind this was that these activities would provide a welcome diversion, satisfying a need in these high-performing individuals to exercise their phenomenal problem-solving and organisational skills.

Disappointingly, most of the test group found them too difficult, flung them across the room then stormed off to annoy an underling.

Coloured pencils

Nevertheless, the research team persisted, experimenting with a wide range of pastimes and tasks. It was when they gave the managers coloured pencils, felt tips and a pile of colouring books that they started to see some encouraging results. These simple distractions kept the test group amused for hours, ensuring that they were far too preoccupied to wander off and interfere with something that actually mattered.

The team have now developed a special management kit containing crayons, poster paints, glue and glitter. This is already being used in several major companies, where it is issued to staff in senior positions, who are then encouraged to find a quiet corner and try not to bother anyone.

Significant improvements in productivity and efficiency have already been made and the Oxford team is so pleased with the results that they are working on an expanded version incorporating potato printing and Play-Doh for use with senior figures in government.

 

 

Taken from The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2016

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2016

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk

The University of the Bleeding Obvious's Private Bits

Private Bits

72 pages of previously unseen material including Formula 1 Shopping Trolley Racing, Knee Operations for Fruit Flies, Quantum Farming, a visit to The Book Crevice, Gary the Builder, and The Affair of the Flat Vicar, a brand new adventure for the eminent Belgian dick, Anton La Cranque.

All this and more will only be available in this volume as a PDF and is yours for a measly £1 - yes £1 (or whatever the equivalent is in your fancy foreign money). To download it now, click here.

Click here to close this box

Private Bits

Private Bits

This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

Download here for just £1.

The UBO Annual 2021

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2021

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2020

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2020

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2018

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2017

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2017

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 1

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 1

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 2

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 2

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Post your blood now.
Learn to speak fluent Pasta.
Are you in the market for a used policeman?
Modified pets for all occasions
The only meal you can sleep in
Wrexham seeks Chip Control Warden.
The wonderful world of cheese
Traditional Oompah music under threat.
Buy it now
World's fattest man struck by earthquake

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

03 December 2020: For Kids of All Ages...

26 November 2020: Ant Facts with Donald Fact

25 November 2020: Dr Bongo on...Ants

Copyright © 2016