A revolutionary new breakthrough in beard technology!
Men, do you need to grow a beard? Fast?

Then you need to get in touch with us here at Bristletech Industries.

Over the last few years, Bristletech has supplied quality, pre-grown beards to over fifty thousand satisfied customers.

And demand is growing.

We already operate twenty large-scale beard farms in Europe and the Middle East, and this year we have plans to acquire eight more. Our largest covers over twenty acres on the outskirts of Milan and has recently received a special award from the Grand Council of Affiliated Whisker Inspectors.

Our secret? Well, it's really no secret at all. We sow our fields with top grade beard seed, water, nourish and wait for nature to do her work.

When (and only when) the beards have ripened in the warm Mediterranean sun, we pick them and take them along to the stamping plant to be cut into shape.

Finally, they are delicately finished by hand - trimmed, tinted and carefully combed, before being shipped out to department stores and boutiques all over the world.

Whatever kind of beard you want, whether it's a sophisticated goatee, to a full blown fuzz-fest - we can supply exactly what you need.

 

Bristletech
Building Our Business on a Firm Base

 

Tough, durable and fully machine washable, a Bristletech beard will last you a lifetime and make you the envy of your friends and colleagues

Bristletech Industries

Available from all good stores
Order now and get a free pair of complimentary eyebrows, while stocks last!

 

Beard Catalogue

- click here to visit our online catalogue -

Return to Archive 3

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Jehovah's Cleaners

Cleaning whether you want it or not

Promo Image

Ken's News and Fags

The last remaining independently-owned high street business in the UK.

Promo Image

Fatquake

World's fattest man struck by earthquake

Promo Image

Cut Price Chips

You like chips. You like lots of chips.

Promo Image

Celebrity Pizza Therapy

The latest celebrity craze.

Promo Image

Wanted: Chip-Eater

Wrexham seeks Chip Control Warden.

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
Copyright © 2001