Scientist Discovers Square Root of Green

In a much anticipated announcement, Dr Rosemary Dulux of the Royal Institute of Mixing it Up in Greenwich revealed that she has finally discovered the square root of the colour green.

"Turns out that it's a slightly pallid shade of yellow," she announced yesterday to an eager assembly of shady designers, blushing paint manufacturers and one somewhat gaudy collector of felt tip pen salesmen from Stevenage.

Yellow

This is the culmination of over twenty years' work for Dr Dulux, who hails from a family of celebrated colourologists. Her father championed several new shades of orange in the seventies and her great great uncle invented purple in 1926, despite spending the majority of his life in black and white.

Making green things

This discovery points the way to new improved industrial processes for making green things, but Dr Dulux's work doesn't end there.

"I believe we're only really beginning to understand the mathematical basis for colour," she told us. "What happens when you divide blue by red? Can indigo be expressed to more than four decimal places? And what exactly does minus brown look like?"

Pink is a theoretical impossibility

But the question that Dr Dulux really wants to answer is whether 'pink' is actually a real colour. Pink is a theoretical impossibility because it is not a primary colour itself and cannot be made by mixing other primary colours.

This has led various people to speculate that it's actually the result of complex tones spilling into this plane of existence from a parallel dimension.

Dr Dulux disagrees and believes that if she can find a way of describing it scientifically it will pave the way for the discovery of new exotic colours such as 'burple', 'flistergringe' and 'splink'.

 

 

Taken from The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2016

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2016

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
InstagramFacebookTwitter
Sarnies of the rich and famous
I fear I may need to take the rest of the day off.
Astronomer discovers Mr Dougal Fridgely of Tadcaster
Mrs Stenchtrouser's quest to make the mythical beast presentable
Death by appliance.
'Team bonding, goal setting, table top brainstorming.'
Man attempts river climb.
Unlocking the hidden power of tangled wires.
Mrs Whitney has tigers behind her shed.

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

30 April 2023: Commemorative Gas!

29 April 2023: Commemorative Cabbage!

28 April 2023: Commemorative Chicken!

Copyright © 2016