Do you need a clown? Fast? Then you need...

Happysmiles

Emergency Clown Service

We all know what it's like when the clown you've booked for that children's birthday party or office leaving do fails to arrive, turns up drunk or explodes on contact with Coca Cola. And I'm sure we've all heard the same excuses before - confetti shortages, misfiring water pistols or punctured lung.

Well now you need worry no longer. Our dedicated team of executive clowns are available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and are committed to providing the very best in modern high-performance clowning.  Happysmiles! clowns are all fully trained to the latest international standards in balloon handling, trick cycling and comedy magic. And what's more, our custard pies have been given the personal seal of approval by six of the world's top chefs for their flavour, consistency and aerodynamic properties.

pie

But of course, when you hire a clown you want much more than just accurate pie tossing, expansive trousers and a complete range of humorous sound effects.  You want peace of mind, as well.  That's why all our clowns are regularly valeted and checked for cracks and tears to ensure they are fully compliant with current legislation. And following the tragic case recently highlighted in the press, you will be reassured to learn that our revolving bow ties now undergo daily safety inspections.

So if your regular clown service has let you down, and you desperately need a replacement to liven up your party, goof around in front of your little ones, or chair your next annual general meeting, get in touch with us here at...

Happysmiles

Where a smile costs nothing*

*Subject to Availability

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Books

The University of the
Bleeding Obvious:
Volume 1

The first collection of material from The University of the Bleeding Obvious, includes bouncing sheep, Nuclear Gardening and much more.

The University of the Bleeding Obvious

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The University of the
Bleeding Obvious:
Volume 2

The second volume of material - contains Oven Chimps, Invitation to a Monks' Tea Party, Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery and more.

The University of the Bleeding Obvious: Volume Two

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Dead Peasants

Fifteen new articles, published 2012, including Jacob Wanting, Baron Havok Regrets and Chip Papers, Doggy Doings and Sick.

Dead Peasants

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Kicking and Screaming

Includes Exploding Dogs, Pigmongering, Scrufty's Magic Juju Shoppe and Empire of the Flowers.

Kicking and Screaming

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The Bongo Lectures

Dr Adolphous Bongo presents his twisted views on the subjects of Moles, Farm Machinery, Shopping and more.

The Bongo Lectures

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Death Doom & Disaster

When Geoff Dickson left work one foggy evening he didn't expect to wind up being chased across an alien landscape by giant snails.

Death, Doom and Disaster

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Goldilocks and
Free Bears

An epic struggle for justice, featuring, amongst other things, the Loch Ness Monster and a potato with gunshot wounds.

Goldilocks and the Free Bears

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Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery

Modified pets for all occasions



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Auras by Post

Buff up your chakras



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Teaching Carrots to Fly

Adventures in vegetable avionics (external link)


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