Eradicate the Embarrassment
of Squeaky Shoes with

Squeak Off

Top spies know that when you're sneaking up behind an enemy agent, positioning yourself to deliver the fatal karate chop that will guarantee the future security of the free world, the last thing you want is a stray squeak or creak to give away your position.

That's why 9 out of 10 Super Secret National Intelligence Agencies use Squeak Off.

Squeak Off's revolutionary anti-squeak technology penetrates deep into noisy footwear, soothing, caressing and nourishing the material to leave your shoes not only squeakless but also free from dandruff.

Squeak Off is guaranteed to work on a variety of materials and fabrics, including:

  • Leather
  • Suede
  • Plastic
  • Bacon*
  • Canvas

And Squeak Off is not just a boon for intelligence men - it has proven useful for people in all walks of life, including hitmen, fishermen, mime artists, cinema usherettes, librarians and tax inspectors.

So next time you need to sneak up on someone and wrestle them to the ground before they have time to raise the alarm, give Squeak Off a go.

Squeak Off

The Big Noise in Footwear Technology

*As far as we're aware, no one has yet invented bacon shoes, but when they do we'll be ready.

 

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Wanted: Chip-Eater

Wrexham seeks Chip Control Warden.

Promo Image

Out now from Obvious Records

Records what we made up

Promo Image

And Now the Trouser Forecast

A scattering of corduroys overnight...

Promo Image

Anti-Assertiveness Classes

Tone it down a bit.

Promo Image

The Aromatron

Patent stink technology

Promo Image

Crime Waves

North Sea crime figures fall

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Copyright © 2015