Eradicate the Embarrassment
of Squeaky Shoes with

Squeak Off

Top spies know that when you're sneaking up behind an enemy agent, positioning yourself to deliver the fatal karate chop that will guarantee the future security of the free world, the last thing you want is a stray squeak or creak to give away your position.

That's why 9 out of 10 Super Secret National Intelligence Agencies use Squeak Off.

Squeak Off's revolutionary anti-squeak technology penetrates deep into noisy footwear, soothing, caressing and nourishing the material to leave your shoes not only squeakless but also free from dandruff.

Squeak Off is guaranteed to work on a variety of materials and fabrics, including:

  • Leather
  • Suede
  • Plastic
  • Bacon*
  • Canvas

And Squeak Off is not just a boon for intelligence men - it has proven useful for people in all walks of life, including hitmen, fishermen, mime artists, cinema usherettes, librarians and tax inspectors.

So next time you need to sneak up on someone and wrestle them to the ground before they have time to raise the alarm, give Squeak Off a go.

Squeak Off

The Big Noise in Footwear Technology

*As far as we're aware, no one has yet invented bacon shoes, but when they do we'll be ready.

 

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Dancer mown dow by chorus line.

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Cleaning whether you want it or not

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For too long Geoffs have been ignored by society, cast aside and denied the opportunity to glory in their essential Geoffness.

 

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