The

Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment

Feeling giddy?  Confused?  Don't know whether you're coming or going?
The chances are that your ears are out of whack.

Proper doctors now know that irregular, misplaced and maladjusted ear alignment can cause delirium, panic attacks and seepage.  And if left untreated, it can ultimately lead to permanent, irreversible mentalism.

You don't want to be a mental, do you?

Of course not.  Well, now the Montreux Clinic for Aural Readjustment can help. Here, look at this:

Man with unbalanced ears Man with balanced ears

See?  Fortunately, Senior Consultant Roberto El Armitagio has developed a simple, effective and relatively safe method of ear balancing which can seriously improve your chances of staying on the right side of gaga.  Using a combination of lead weights, pulleys and elastic webbing, his method can have your wonky flappers fixed up in no time*.

*approximately six to eight weeks, depending on the initial degree of displacement.


So don't be too late
It's foolish to wait
Get your head straight

at the

Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment

Caution: Treatment may render patient profoundly deaf.

Man with roving ears

Return to Archive 2

InstagramFacebookTwitter
'Sadly, not everyone can handle themselves as well as I can'
The thing about time travel is
How close should a gentleman get to a lady?
A packed programme of events
'Turn yourself in, sonny'
Legendary band to reunite.
Marvin the Money Pig can help
Prof Jim Spanners explains chaos theory
Secondhand space travel

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

30 April 2023: Commemorative Gas!

29 April 2023: Commemorative Cabbage!

28 April 2023: Commemorative Chicken!