The

Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment

Feeling giddy?  Confused?  Don't know whether you're coming or going?
The chances are that your ears are out of whack.

Proper doctors now know that irregular, misplaced and maladjusted ear alignment can cause delirium, panic attacks and seepage.  And if left untreated, it can ultimately lead to permanent, irreversible mentalism.

You don't want to be a mental, do you?

Of course not.  Well, now the Montreux Clinic for Aural Readjustment can help. Here, look at this:

Man with unbalanced ears Man with balanced ears

See?  Fortunately, Senior Consultant Roberto El Armitagio has developed a simple, effective and relatively safe method of ear balancing which can seriously improve your chances of staying on the right side of gaga.  Using a combination of lead weights, pulleys and elastic webbing, his method can have your wonky flappers fixed up in no time*.

*approximately six to eight weeks, depending on the initial degree of displacement.


So don't be too late
It's foolish to wait
Get your head straight

at the

Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment

Caution: Treatment may render patient profoundly deaf.

Man with roving ears

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The University of the Bleeding Obvious's Private Bits

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Tosser

Hurling pigs off the Empire State Building.

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Fraudulent Bananas

Some of these bananas are bent

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Joint Strike Carrot

Teaching carrots to fly

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Darrens

Darrens are dying out in Essex.

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The Domesday Clipboard

The clipboard used to compile the Domesday Book.

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Thinking of Buying an Octopus?

What you need to know

 

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