Gentlemen

Are you suffering from the embarrassment of anosmia?

Consider the shame in being unable to identify a pungent cheese, detect the cloying odour of rotting fruit or pinpoint the location of a partially concealed trout. Anyone deprived of such basic social skills runs the risk of being branded a pariah, an outcast or a knob. Can you afford to take that risk?

 

The Aromamatron

 

Well thankfully, you don't have to. Webbley's Patent Electric Aromatron is here to do your smelling for you. Fitting snuggly over the nose, around the ears, over the head and hanging halfway down your back, the Aromatron is virtually undetectable, and its on-board fan-assisted stink pistons are capable of differentiating between five different smells, including liquid paraffin!

 

"I bought an Aromatron on the advice of my physician. And I'm glad I did! It was only when I strapped it on and fired it up that I realised the drains were backed up."

The Earl of Lancaster

"I was placed in a very difficult situation when Lady Philomena Trussock let one rip at a dinner party I was attending in Kensingon. All eyes were, of course, on me, but thanks to the Aromatron's built-in guff tracking system I was able to prove that although I may have smelt it, I certainly hadn't dealt it."

General Sir George Pottymouth

"I don't usually go in for gadgets. A lot of silly old pish and nonsense, if you ask me. However, since havin' one of these here Aromatron gizmos on approval for the last week, I find that I've been up to me damn epaulettes in buxom young fillies. So tally ho and damn the blasted torpedoes, that's what I say! In fact, I'm now seriously considerin' havin' me back waxed and gettin' a revolving wig."

Bertram 'Fruity' Mountbatten, esq.

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

The Moonbeam Fresh Air System

Prof Moonbeam invents new kind of fan.

Promo Image

Rationalising Britain's River Network

'There are simply too many of them,' says Dame Vera Trickle.

Promo Image

Emergency Kebabs

Acclaim for new venture.

Promo Image

Cut Price Chips

You like chips. You like lots of chips.

Promo Image

Roman Hole

Archaeologists disoover historic hole.

Promo Image

Gentlemen's Etiquette

For men of character

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

22 December 2017: How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

21 December 2017: Evening Classes at The University of the Bleeding Obvious

20 December 2017: A Ding-Dong over Duvets