Echo...Echo
Mr Clutterbuck has an echo... echo... echo.
Poot
Bigger, Better, Faster, Now!
Pigmongering
Fergus Pong introduces us to this dying art.
Jaggedy
Mrs Lubricant wants a tidiery Britain.
'Ello 'Ello 'Ello, What's All This Then?
Presenting The Metropolitan Police Choir.
The Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment
Get your wonky flappers straightened here
Butterfly
Prof Jim Spanners explains chaos theory
Cake Rage
Pastry related assaults.
Donald Fact's Fact Blast
It's a Fact, brought to you by Crunchy Flakes.
Linguini!
Learn to speak fluent pasta.
Happismiles Emergency Clown Service
For when your regular clown lets you down.
Bristletech Industries
Do you need to grow a beard? Fast?
Professional Scarer
GRRRRRR! AAAAARRRRGH! GRRRR!
In the market for a used policeman?
How to spot a dodgy copper.
Moroccan Dancing Moles
David Attenburger's Wonderful World of Nature.
Drive-by Wallpapering
Delinquent decorating.
Words of wisdom from our resident medic
...Tigers ...Moles ...Farm Machinery ...Hypnotism ...Fruit ...Soap ...Implants ...Pianos ...Happy Clappers ...The Environment
Global Moistening
Fear of a wet planet.
Pretty Pictures
Better management through crayons.
Skydiving
Skydiving without the unnecessary inconvenience of a parachute.
British Gas
Sending foreign gas back home.
How Long is a Piece of String?
The hit gameshow for all the family.
Caught by the Fuzz
New Recruitment Initiatives within the UK Police Force.
Top Twenty Albums of the '70s
With Ricky Stratocaster, professor of twangology.
Topping Talent
Featuring the Marvellous Undersea Kingdom of Colin Chocolate.
Sofas are From Mars...
The race to put the first sofa on Mars.
Dobbins of Doncaster
Get yourself a quality ass.
Lillywhite Lenny
On the importance of staying on the fecking horse.
Spread the Good Word!
Your chance to buy shares in the Salvation Army!
Brixham Trouser Museum
The UK 's premier trouser experience.
The Bleeding Obvious
You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
Food Banking
MPs praise growing industry.
Historic Knees
Knees of outstanding natural beauty.
Whose Legs Are These?
The gameshow for all the family
The Devil's Arse On Tour
Famous cavern to tour country
Amateur Stamp Collector Collector
Want to know how much to pay for a Nigel Tomlinson?
Sugar Free Vegan Diesel
There's no butter in it either.
Inside the Nun Factory
Where do nuns come from?
Emergency Kebabs
When you absolutely positively need a kebab.
Mr Gammon's Objections
Shepton Bassett Council Responds
Barney's Magic Wonder Show
Belinda Sommers reviews the latest production.
Operation Mutton
The millitary applications of sheep during WWII.
Pigchums
Meet likeminded pigs in your area!
The Shepton Bassett Village Fete
In aid of the St Tiddles in the Font Restoration Fund.
Cooker Island
Where the toasters roam free.
Shark Fishing
Fergus Pong has a shark problem.
The Horse-Drawn Record Player
Equestrian technology.
Marmaduke Irksome: A Retrospective
Talking crap in the House of Commons.
Cut Price Chips
You like chips? You like lots of chips?
Ralph Trundle: F1 Driver
We talk to a legend of the circuit
Bad Grandma Grammar
The inappropriate erection of words.
Maxi-Lingual for Motorists
Curse fluently in over six languages.
Things Fall Over All the Time
Arthur's train only has wheels on one side.
Oven Chimps
With none of the greasy aftertaste of regular monkeys.
Jehovah's Cleaners
Because cleanliness is nexr to godliness.
Yeti Makeover
Mrs Stenchtrouser is planning an expedition.
Brick II
Recycling the rubble.
The Battersea Wigs Home
We never put a healthy wig down.
Cash for Pets
Trade in your unwanted dog.
Veg-U-Like
Tomatoes, cauliflower, brussel sprouts and peas - collect the whole set.
An Important Announcement about Fish
Clever trout and erudite pilcards.
Traffic Watch
Heavy vibes are causing delays on the A52.
Neighbor Nightmares: The Movie
Two men, one drive, no prisoners.
Night of the Womble
Unpublished Womble book is dystopian nightmare.
Award for Outstanding Celebrity
New awards for old has-beens
Sounds of Nature
Relax with chickens.
Fats Porker - Blues Whinger
In memory of Crappsville's finest son.
The Language of Dance
Jazz hands and quickstep.
Greygolds Residential Care Home
Where quality care costs extra.
Motorcycle Display Teams
A bunch of blokes twatting about on bikes.
Persons Unknown
Mr Frampton is looking for somoeone to blame.
Punctuation Crisis
We're running out of apostrophes.
It's All in the Game
Classic board games from the past.
Dark Batter
Is the missing mass in the Universe actually pastry?
Hear and Now
For collectors of rare and unusual sounds.
Maisy Donnington's Office Safety
How to avoid the business end of a stapler.
It's a Fact
Fun facts from the Fact Master. Fank you.
A Fistful of Sausages
Brought to you by the meat marketing board.
Donald Fact's Fact Breakers
Remembering the classic '70s kids' show.
History in Focus
An elbow shaker and a lickspittling mumblecrust
Petty Complaints Ombudsman
Giving your batshit insade complaints the respect they deserve.
Did Man Really Go To Belgium?
The dark truth behind the Belgian conspiracy
Gin!
Gin, gin and more gin!
Tony Fold's Country Rambles
with guest rambler, Rory Triffic.
Anti-Assertiveness Classes
Tone it down a bit.
No More Glasses!
Fry sausages with just a wink of the eye.
An Old Fart Remembers
Do you remember Puthering Day?
Doing the Lord's Work
Vicars on the job.
Comfy Dinners
A meal fit for a bed.
Fine Dining
with Woodroffe Spanker
Short and Curly
Unlocking the power of curly hair.
SciFi Fan Draws a Blank
Publisher leaves pages blank to cut costs.
For Kids of All Ages...
Introducing our new range of children's books.
Christopher Columbus Discoveries Inc
If you've lost it, Chris will find it.
Have you got what it takes to stay in the country?
Be a great Briton. Or get out.
Bean Legacy
This summer, Christian Bale is Mr Bean.
Buttock Express
Your arse in our hands.
An Open Letter to Shepton Bassett Park & Zoo
Sorry about your monkeys.
World of Holes
Europe's leading stockist of quality holes.
Blood Donors Needed
Please bleed into the envelope provided.
Tripping the Dark Fantastic
Hello darkness my old friend
Mr Bannerman's Evidence
Courtroom confusion.
Jars-4-u
Get your jars opened by a professional jar opener!
Shave the Moon
Our hairy satellite.
Mind Your Wind
Issued by the Ministry of Gas, 1942.
The Wackiest Person in the UK
Alison Perkins is a mad as a fish.
Rationalising Britain's River Network
Britain's waterways need straightening,
How to Look After Your Cement Mixer
A great addition to any home.
Forward to the '80s
How we'll all be travelling in the '80s.
Songs of Inspiration
Jesus Wants Me For His Darts Team.
The Sandwich Advisor
Buying a sandwich is the third most stressful thing you can do.
Bing Crosby Boxing
Punching singers in the mouth.
The Long Range Trouser Forecast
Overnight corduroys and occasional dungarees.
The World Bullshit Record
Team bonding, goal setting and table top brainstorming
Debt Matters
Making you aware of your debt.
Fraudulent Bananas
Phony fruit.
Some People You've Never Heard Of
Rancid Alan Grease and others.
Machiavelli Management Solutions
Discipline over distance.
Man Blames ESA for Domestic Eclipse
Mr Cravat is not happy about where they park their stuff.
Help a Pirate in Need
These buccaneers desperately need your support.
The Aromatron
A whole new world of smells awaits you.
A Career in Printing
Why not specialise in the colour green?
The Wonderful World of Ants
Ants, ants, ants, ants!
Space Things
The continuing adventures of Astro Cat.
Feathered Friends
Could you befriend a lonely parrot?
Art
Selwyn Peach paints Elephants
Ant Facts
with Donald Fact.
Cosmos Rocks
In an infinite universe, there is no limit to human gullibility.
The Prime Time Gameshow Generator
As used by TV executives worldwide.
Ricky Stratocaster's History of Rock
Rod Stewart and Enya's Rock 'n' Roll Mysteries
Solving crimes and fighting bad guys.
The Alternative Olympics
Speed swingball and dodgem rallying.
Staff Handbook
A handy guide to your new workplace.
St Tiddles in the Font
Parish newsletter.
Piffin: A Mediterranean Paradise
Boasting Europe's biggest landfill.
Grampion Strangely's Mountain Rescue
These vulnderable mountains need your help.
The Ultimate Procrastination Suite
Just been handed a project but can't be bothered to get started?
Welcome to Stick World
If you like sticks, well, we've got sticks.
Something Happened on Tuesday
Probably, but we're not sure what.
Maisy Donnington's Guide to Perking Yourself Up
Turn that frown upside down.
The Delusion of J Henry Proudfoot
We meet an alien archaeologist.
Centuri Space Supplies
Second hand space travel
Mrs Womble writes...
Thinking of Buying an Octopus?
How to look after your squishy friend.
Kicking Up a New Stink
Breakthrough leads to discovery of new smell.
The Unusual Suspects
A message from Det. Insp. Barker Harris.
Mathew Sandblaster-Trogg
A bouncy little freak.
The Beaufort Scale
Slight wafts and uninvited pumps.
Glen Twerk is not at Work
Caveat emptor, quo vadis.
Nuclear Garden
Mr Sideboard is not happy about his exploding shed.
Is Your Tortoise Roadworthy?
Important news from the Ministry of Tortoises.
Are you ready for Digital Ornithology?
Analogue birds are about to be switched off.
Astralguard
Insurance for Astral Travellers.
Munchy Burger
Can you cut the mustard as a top burger executive?
Local Heroes
Outstanding achievements in the field of vandalism.
What Is It?
How what why when who where and when? Hello?
Optimum Leaning Angles
How to look cool and interesting at an angle.
A Ding-Dong Duvets
Prof Reynaud pulls a fast one.
Teaching Carrots to Fly
The cutting edge of vegetable warfare.
Baby's First Swear
Teach your little angel to swear like a trooper.
The Thoroughfare of Success
Dick Smidgen teaches you how to live your life but better.
Dolby Noise Reduction Sausages
Cut out the hiss next breakfast time.
Barry the Road Safety Owl
No nonsense advice from a wise old bird
Some more stupid than others.
Barry Buys a Broom
Dirty Doings at Featherstone Manor
Board Meeting
The Day Before Tomnorrow
Tall Story in a Short Glass
The Hedgehog King
The Mystery of the Shitfaced Man
Venus by Catapult
You Again
Death, Doom and Disaster
Goldilocks and the Free Bears
Digital Vicars
The secret ways that vicars communicate?
10 Things You Never Knew About Frogs
Frogtastic Facts
Cosmic Background Apathy
Will the universe keep expanding until it can't be bothered anymore?
Exploding Dinners
Put the fun back into dinner time.
Death By Pastry
A huge pie just hanging in space.
Tax, What Tax?
Sir John Wyndrell has never heard of his own company.
Twenty-First Century Scouting
A woggle for the new miilenium.
Galactic Phrasebook
Learn to speak Venusian!
The Embarrasment of Nasal Hair Loss
Nostril wigs for all occasions
Wisbech
Theft of town exposed as hoax.
The Trivial Accident Group
Have you been slightly inconvenienced at work?
Maisy Donnington's Cheese Etiquette Page
Your guide to the wonderful world of cheese.
We're No Longer Recruiting...
...but here are some of the unlucky applicants
Metal Detecting
German U-Boat Found on Devon Beach.
Scoop!
Local frog trapped in drain.
Why Your Printer Doesn't Work
Most of these devices are allergic to paper.
Your Staff Feedback, Your Way
Tired of hearing from ungrateful and misguided staff?
Cheese Genome Finally Cracked!
Scientific proof of the existence of cheese.
Noblock and Kerfanderbuck
All smileytangled cockrock strop.
How To Be Sweary
with Professor Timothy Bottom.
Wind Tunnel Technician
Pardon?
Octo-Fever
Are you allergic to octopuses?
Product Recall
Some of our biscuits may contain canoes.
Criminal Offence Self-Assessment Form
Tick the box if you're a wrong 'un.
The Drivelling
Troubled Hammer film gets new release.
Arty Tomatoes
Guy Pakker's latest artistic venture.
Crystal N.R.G.
Harnessing the mystical bollocks of the universe.
Core Competencies in Office Furniture
Sign up for a certificate in filing cabinets.
Pooley's Fire Distinguisher
Put paid to that firey bullshit.
Mr & Mrs Pottle are Lost Again
Why can't these people just stay at home?
Evening Courses
Pseudo-academic subjects and frivolous arts and crafts courses.
A Very Local Paper
All the news that's local to Mr Henry Droop, Littlehampton.
No Offence
The Right Honourable David McGog unapologetically apologises.
World of the Wacky
With the Amazing Mr Ooluv
Puzzle Page!
With the amazing Mr Ooluv.
So You've Got a New Manager?
How to stop it crapping in your in tray.
Fatquake
A sad farewell to the world's fatest man.
The Great Space Exhibition
Glorious innovations and technical marvels!
Old Clothes
Trading Standards warn against dangerously out of date clobber.
Knitting in Colour
This day in 1956 saw the introduction of the first regular colour knitting patterns.
Dream Strides
Emergency trousers delivered direct to your anxiety nightmare.
Know Your Birds
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Modern Day Bird Warfare
Jazz Bomb
Raw unadulterated jazz.
Here Comes Barry Smith
Wise words from Shepton Bassett's number one coach driver.
Doing Lengths
Mr Zing is swimming from pole to pole
Flexi Mortem
The only credit card you can use after death.
International Arse Kicking
Bottom kicking for fun and profit.
It's a Fact!
More facts from the Funky Fact Feller.
Diagnosis
Professor Wimple has a dirty mouth.
The Discovery of Vitamin G
Great moments in science.
Selling Crap for Fun and Profit
The very best in useless tat.
Harry Carson is Watching You
It's a man's life as a modern store detective.
Empire of the Flowers
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Operation Growbag.
Rob Hammond's Essential Guide to Buddhism
Rob Hammond will give you a spiritual kicking,
Buy Our Shampoo
Just buy it, ok.
The Kidderminster Lemon Exchange
Open now for faster, more reliable lemon exchange.
Shepton Bassett - A Vision for the Future
Better late than never, our town plan.
Carter-Pierrepoint
Particulate mapping of key delivery nodes.
Dougal Fridgely
Possible dwarf planet discovered in Tadcaster
Fleegle
New number has consequences for the future of the universe. And bingo.
Introducing Flying Squirrels
Flying into the side of a house at forty knots...
Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery
Save cash - fix your own pets in the comfort of your own home.
Extreme Dinosaurs
Skateboarding plesiosaurs, rollerblading raptors and a brontosaurus with a space hopper.
New Deposits of Earwax Discovered
Significant quantities discovered in Mr Harry Frome
Petunia Mulch
Plant psychologist.
Squeak Off
The big noise in footwear technology.
Cock
The magazine for young gentlemen.
The Fish Olympics
Piscine polevaulting and haddock hurdles.
The Square Root of Green
Fresh breakthrough in the science of colourology.
A Sustained Corporate Battering
We're concerned about Mr Pyle
New Rights for Fictional Characters
It's no longer ok to call Oliver Twist a twat.
The National Key Museum!
We've got keys!
Scrufty's Magic Juju Shoppe
A tale of oconker mismanagement.
Gentlemen's Etiquette
How to behave right proper and all that.
One-Sided Dice
One-Sided Dice for Fatalists.
Typists of the Kalahari
Shorthand tigers and double entry hippos.
Auras by Post?
Spruce up your chakras
Well Stuffed
Rogue taxidermist terrorises family pets.
Slugbond
Because an inflated slug is a happy slug.
Out and About
The International Toast Museum and other attractions.
Gerald de Scooter's Restaurant Guide
Top notch swanky grub,
What's On in Lower Bumpstead
A packed programme, following that unfortunate incident with the fire eater.
Eazee-post
Taking the pain out of internet forums.
National Consumer Instructions Awards
Confusing, badly translated or just plain weird.
Quality Service at Pooley's
With our motoring correspondent, Martin Carburetor.
Stuff Your Bleeding Job
How to resign digracefully.
Cold Fusion Sandwiches
A new era in atomic lunches.
Dilbert's Donkey Solutions
Professional donkey storage.
Spooky Doings
The magazine of weird and improbable stuff.
Announcing the iSpong
Totally changing the way that people spong in the future.
Not Funny
Prof Jez Moonbeam is laughable.
Bare-knuckle Snooker
The biggest threat to law and order since badminton
Travel News
Cowboys on the line and bricked up tunnels,
So Special
Special beauty therapies for very special people.
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