The UK's 7th funniest comedy site, probably
Selwyn Peach paints Elephants
A tale of oconker mismanagement.
Cowboys on the line and bricked up tunnels,
Prof Jim Spanners explains chaos theory
Tomatoes, cauliflower, brussel sprouts and peas - collect the whole set.
Possible dwarf planet discovered in Tadcaster
With none of the greasy aftertaste of regular monkeys.
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Modern Day Bird Warfare
For collectors of rare and unusual sounds.
No nonsense advice from a wise old bird
The magazine for young gentlemen.
Overnight corduroys and occasional dungarees.
The big noise in footwear technology.
The biggest threat to law and order since badminton
In aid of the St Tiddles in the Font Restoration Fund.
Famous cavern to tour country
Words of wisdom from our resident medic
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Operation Growbag.
Presenting The Metropolitan Police Choir.
Theft of town exposed as hoax.
Pardon?
Unlocking the power of curly hair.
New number has consequences for the future of the universe. And bingo.
An elbow shaker and a lickspittling mumblecrust
The dark truth behind the Belgian conspiracy
A packed programme, following that unfortunate incident with the fire eater.
Shepton Bassett Council Responds
Mr Frampton is looking for somoeone to blame.
Relax with chickens.
Guy Pakker's latest artistic venture.
Boasting Europe's biggest landfill.
For when your regular clown lets you down.
Significant quantities discovered in Mr Harry Frome
The secret ways that vicars communicate?
Meet likeminded pigs in your area!
Sorry about your monkeys.
A new era in atomic lunches.
Nostril wigs for all occasions
Making you aware of your debt.
Raw unadulterated jazz.
Insurance for Astral Travellers.
Tick the box if you're a wrong 'un.
with Professor Timothy Bottom.
These buccaneers desperately need your support.
Emergency trousers delivered direct to your anxiety nightmare.
How to look after your squishy friend.
Delinquent decorating.
Alison Perkins is a mad as a fish.
Where quality care costs extra.
Europe's leading stockist of quality holes.
We've got keys!
Arthur's train only has wheels on one side.
Get your wonky flappers straightened here
The continuing adventures of Astro Cat.
Get yourself a quality ass.
Mr Zing is swimming from pole to pole
Do you remember Puthering Day?
More facts from the Funky Fact Feller.
Put the fun back into dinner time.
Be a great Briton. Or get out.
This summer, Christian Bale is Mr Bean.
Your arse in our hands.
Mrs Lubricant wants a tidiery Britain.
Breakthrough leads to discovery of new smell.
Two men, one drive, no prisoners.
How to behave right proper and all that.
How we'll all be travelling in the '80s.
In an infinite universe, there is no limit to human gullibility.
The International Toast Museum and other attractions.
Knees of outstanding natural beauty.
As used by TV executives worldwide.
The very best in useless tat.
...but here are some of the unlucky applicants
Bottom kicking for fun and profit.
Save cash - fix your own pets in the comfort of your own home.
Giving your batshit insade complaints the respect they deserve.
You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
A great addition to any home.
Slight wafts and uninvited pumps.
Professor Wimple has a dirty mouth.
On the importance of staying on the fecking horse.
Punching singers in the mouth.
New awards for old has-beens
It's a Fact, brought to you by Crunchy Flakes.
Spruce up your chakras
How to look cool and interesting at an angle.
Parish newsletter.
The UK 's premier trouser experience.
Because an inflated slug is a happy slug.
Put paid to that firey bullshit.
Fresh breakthrough in the science of colourology.
Better management through crayons.
Remembering the classic '70s kids' show.
Team bonding, goal setting and table top brainstorming
Speed swingball and dodgem rallying.
If you like sticks, well, we've got sticks.
The only credit card you can use after death.
Talking crap in the House of Commons.
Will the universe keep expanding until it can't be bothered anymore?
Fergus Pong introduces us to this dying art.
Just buy it, ok.
Totally changing the way that people spong in the future.
David Attenburger's Wonderful World of Nature.
We talk to a legend of the circuit
Glorious innovations and technical marvels!
Tone it down a bit.
Trading Standards warn against dangerously out of date clobber.
These vulnderable mountains need your help.
GRRRRRR! AAAAARRRRGH! GRRRR!
Most of these devices are allergic to paper.
Could you befriend a lonely parrot?
New Recruitment Initiatives within the UK Police Force.
Mr Cravat is not happy about where they park their stuff.
How to resign digracefully.
How to spot a dodgy copper.
Belinda Sommers reviews the latest production.
Introducing our new range of children's books.
with Woodroffe Spanker
Probably, but we're not sure what.
Heavy vibes are causing delays on the A52.
Pastry related assaults.
Mrs Stenchtrouser is planning an expedition.
Teach your little angel to swear like a trooper.
A sad farewell to the world's fatest man.
Discipline over distance.
Skydiving without the unnecessary inconvenience of a parachute.
Great moments in science.
Britain's waterways need straightening,
A huge pie just hanging in space.
Ricky Stratocaster's History of Rock
A bouncy little freak.
MPs praise growing industry.
Want to know how much to pay for a Nigel Tomlinson?
You like chips? You like lots of chips?
Courtroom confusion.
Hello darkness my old friend
Have you been slightly inconvenienced at work?
Prof Reynaud pulls a fast one.
The gameshow for all the family
Where do nuns come from?
Our hairy satellite.
Brought to you by the meat marketing board.
Mrs Womble writes...
The race to put the first sofa on Mars.
The Right Honourable David McGog unapologetically apologises.
Turn that frown upside down.
Gin, gin and more gin!
Taking the pain out of internet forums.
Curse fluently in over six languages.
with Donald Fact.
Jesus Wants Me For His Darts Team.
Pseudo-academic subjects and frivolous arts and crafts courses.
With the Amazing Mr Ooluv
All the news that's local to Mr Henry Droop, Littlehampton.
Outstanding achievements in the field of vandalism.
It's no longer ok to call Oliver Twist a twat.
Particulate mapping of key delivery nodes.
A handy guide to your new workplace.
Publisher leaves pages blank to cut costs.
This day in 1956 saw the introduction of the first regular colour knitting patterns.
Trade in your unwanted dog.
When you absolutely positively need a kebab.
Do you need to grow a beard? Fast?
Some more stupid than others.
Why not specialise in the colour green?
Local frog trapped in drain.
The hit gameshow for all the family.
Mr Clutterbuck has an echo... echo... echo.
Where the toasters roam free.
Wise words from Shepton Bassett's number one coach driver.
Learn to speak fluent pasta.
Solving crimes and fighting bad guys.
Tired of hearing from ungrateful and misguided staff?
Get your jars opened by a professional jar opener!
Recycling the rubble.
Jazz hands and quickstep.
All smileytangled cockrock strop.
There's no butter in it either.
Can you cut the mustard as a top burger executive?
Scientific proof of the existence of cheese.
Skateboarding plesiosaurs, rollerblading raptors and a brontosaurus with a space hopper.
Your guide to the wonderful world of cheese.
Issued by the Ministry of Gas, 1942.
How to avoid the business end of a stapler.
Dick Smidgen teaches you how to live your life but better.
Top notch swanky grub,
Rogue taxidermist terrorises family pets.
Second hand space travel
Are you allergic to octopuses?
We never put a healthy wig down.
Your chance to buy shares in the Salvation Army!
Vicars on the job.
Shorthand tigers and double entry hippos.
Rancid Alan Grease and others.
Sending foreign gas back home.
Fry sausages with just a wink of the eye.
Clever trout and erudite pilcards.
Fergus Pong has a shark problem.
Unpublished Womble book is dystopian nightmare.
We meet an alien archaeologist.
A woggle for the new miilenium.
Please bleed into the envelope provided.
Caveat emptor, quo vadis.
Special beauty therapies for very special people.
It's a man's life as a modern store detective.
A message from Det. Insp. Barker Harris.
Cut out the hiss next breakfast time.
with guest rambler, Rory Triffic.
Prof Jez Moonbeam is laughable.
Important news from the Ministry of Tortoises.
If you've lost it, Chris will find it.
Frogtastic Facts
The inappropriate erection of words.
Featuring the Marvellous Undersea Kingdom of Colin Chocolate.
Is the missing mass in the Universe actually pastry?
German U-Boat Found on Devon Beach.
Ants, ants, ants, ants!
Mr Sideboard is not happy about his exploding shed.
We're running out of apostrophes.
Because cleanliness is nexr to godliness.
Open now for faster, more reliable lemon exchange.
Just been handed a project but can't be bothered to get started?
The magazine of weird and improbable stuff.
Why can't these people just stay at home?
The cutting edge of vegetable warfare.
Fear of a wet planet.
Harnessing the mystical bollocks of the universe.
How to stop it crapping in your in tray.
Better late than never, our town plan.
A bunch of blokes twatting about on bikes.
Confusing, badly translated or just plain weird.
Professional donkey storage.
Phony fruit.
Plant psychologist.
Troubled Hammer film gets new release.
Sir John Wyndrell has never heard of his own company.
Some of our biscuits may contain canoes.
With the amazing Mr Ooluv.
Learn to speak Venusian!
In memory of Crappsville's finest son.
With Ricky Stratocaster, professor of twangology.
Equestrian technology.
A whole new world of smells awaits you.
Sign up for a certificate in filing cabinets.
Fun facts from the Fact Master. Fank you.
How what why when who where and when? Hello?
Piscine polevaulting and haddock hurdles.
Bigger, Better, Faster, Now!
Flying into the side of a house at forty knots...
The millitary applications of sheep during WWII.
With our motoring correspondent, Martin Carburetor.
A meal fit for a bed.
Analogue birds are about to be switched off.
Classic board games from the past.
One-Sided Dice for Fatalists.
Rob Hammond will give you a spiritual kicking,
Buying a sandwich is the third most stressful thing you can do.
We're concerned about Mr Pyle