What is your tailbone for?
skeleton

"If your collarbone is there to keep your shoulders on and your shins give you somewhere to hang your trousers, what is your tailbone for?"

Is Your Office Chair Road Legal?
Office chair

"Did you know that soon the very chair you're sitting on could be illegal?"

Hear and Now
notes

The listings site for collectors of rare and unusual noises.

Office Safety
desk

Maisy Donnington gives us the benefit of her considerable experience.

Pretty Pictures
child's drawing

"New research shows that giving senior managers colouring books significantly improves the performance of the companies they work for."

Printy Inkbuddy 4000
Project Leaf Fusion

"Fascinating new information has emerged about a Cold War CIA programme to harness the power of bad luck."

Legion of Ultramen

"We're here with Quentin Parks, director of the latest movie in the Legion of Ultramen franchise."

Out and About
toast

"The Totnes Museum of Unidentifiable Smells and other attractions."

Twenty-First Century Scouting
scout

"Hello there, my name is Sir Edmund Woggle, former CEO of several leading international investment firms and lifelong Boy Scout..."

In the market for a used policeman?
Scientist Discovers Square Root of Green
colour equation

"Turns out that it's a slightly pallid shade of yellow."

The Fourth International Arse Kicking Championships
kick

"Over now to Twickenham for the start of the second day of the International Arse Kicking Championships..."

The Aromatron
New Improved Bullshit

"The same great Bullshit you know and love, but now even better..."

What's On in Lower Bumpstead
building

"A varied and thrilling season of events..."

Wilmington Cake Repairs
Harry Carson is Watching You
eyes

"So you want to know what it's like to be a store detective?"

Have you got what it takes to stay in the country?
flag

"From next year all UK citizens will be required to take the new citizenship test."

What are squirrels made of?
squirrel

"If cows are made of beef and pigs are made of bacon, what are squirrels made of?"

Dragonwatch
dragon

"No one throughout the Enchanted Fairy Kingdom can have failed to have noticed the growing numbers of dragons..."

Factor 88
The Problem with Fairies
fairy

"Our guest today is David McGog, MP for Shepton Bassett..."

Fourth Light
traffic light

"What colour should the new light on traffic lights be?"

Maxilingual for Motorists
Tracey's Mobile Hair

"Do you struggle with those difficult-to-tame locks?"

Munchy Burger

"Job Application Form Part B"

Are you suffering the embarrassment of nasal hair loss?
Thinking of Buying an Octopus?
octopus

"Octopussies are fascinating creatures, a great talking point and a handy source of ink..."

Old Clothes
old clothes

"High street outlets selling dangerously out-of-date clothes..."

The Amazing Mr Ooluv's World of the Wacky
Peacocks

"My visitor was a rather unpleasant chap indeed and went on at some length about money being owed..."

Cash for Pets
Top 5 Speaking Tips

"Personal development attainment initiatives and actualisational accomplishment targets for goal-achievers in the workplace..."

Pest Control
phone

"Hello, you're though to the environmental health department..."

How to Beat Stress

Maisy Donnington tells us how to beat stress

The Art of Backpedalling
skyline

"Government Minister Rick Boils has been forced to apologise..."

Are you ready for...
The Drivelling?
film poster

Legendary Hammer film gets new release.

The Museum of Found Noises
Museum

"Visitors to the museum will be able to wander through several galleries containing a wide range of aural exhibits."

Cable Rot

"Experts warn of new cable virus."

Excitement at Discovery of Big-Eared Dinosaur
Big-Eared Dinosaur

"Professor Ernest Cartlidge is particularly excited by the discovery and he painted us a vivid picture of life in the prehistoric age."

Carter-Pierrepoint
Data Farming
Data chicken

"Those familiar ingredients of rural life have been replaced by the gentle hum of electrical transformers, the soft whine of server fans and the smell of shit."

Announcing the iSpong
iSpong

"It was with great excitement that Apple announced the impending launch of its new iSpong."

Top Scientists predict the world will run out of apostrophes by 2027
punctuation

"Leading punctuation expert Professor Connie Brackets announced the worrying news."

Mind Your Wind
Petunia Mulch - Plant Psychologist
Flower on couch

"If you've got a drooping rose bush, a sagging hydrangea or a bent tulip..."

Why is Water Transparent?
fish bowls

"If orange juice is orange and milk is milky, why is water transparent?"

Fishys
Fish

"Poor fishys..."

Food Banking

"We spoke to David Chumbly, MP for Waitrose..."

Urban Fox Hunting
fox

"A posse of be-jodhpured horsefolk tearing down the high street..."

Stick World
Traffic Watch
car

"Motorists are being warned about the following delays and disruptions..."

Top Five Interview Tips
Position Vacant

"Attending a job interview is a stressful occasion..."

Historic Knees
Knees

"Renovating the knees of a British aristocrat..."

Exploding Trousers
Most Wanted
wanted

"The UK's most notorious villains."

Core Competencies in Office Furniture
form

"Many centres of further education are now offering City and Guilds qualifications in office furniture..."

The British Gas Party
logo

"Good evening. My name is Malcolm England and today I want to talk to you about British Gas..."

The Practical Genealogist
Gin!
bottle

"The new play from celebrated playwright Herman Frogspawn has premiered to fierce criticisms..."

Highway Robbery
roads

"Police are warning motorists to be vigilant following a series of road thefts..."

Fields of Gold

"Mounting competition, shrinking profits, roving packs of mutant carrots and a man called Billy who lives in his airing cupboard..."

The Horse-Drawn Record Player
horse-drawn record player

"Developed as a labour-saving alternative to the wind-up gramophone..."

The Licepummeller
cricket bat

"Put an end to the embarrassment of head lice..."

World of Holes
Feathered Friends
UK Government to Sell North Sea?
sea

"Documents have emerged which suggest that in the 1980s the UK Government was considering selling off its stake in the North Sea."

Geoff Geoffreys' Geoffoscope
Map

"Geoff Geoffreys is thrilled to announce that he has invented the Geoffoscope."

So you've got a new manager?
chairs

"Getting a new manager is a magical time for everyone involved."

Bad Grandma Grammar

"We reckernise the difficulties that many people have communicating in a world dominated by text massaging, the internet and soshul media."

How do you know your heather is lucky?

"You've no doubt seen people in the streets selling 'lucky' heather, but have you ever wondered where it comes from and why it's lucky?"

Why your printer doesn't work
Printer on couch

"Most commercially available printers have an inbuilt fear of paper and an inherent antipathy towards ink."

Flexi Mortem
Are you ready for Digital Ornithology?
Bird

"In September 2011 the UK introduced High Resolution Digital Birdlife."

Ambulance Crews Fail to Respond to Serious Belching

"A Norfolk man is seeking to sue the local ambulance service after they took nearly three quarters of an hour to respond to a violent outbreak of wind."

Ever Considered a Career in Printing?

"I know: jobs, huh? Booooring! But seriously, getting into the printing industry can be a very rewarding move."

Cosmos Rocks
Dark Batter
pie in space

"There are bits of space that are deliciously rocky, bits that are worryingly greasy and dirty great chunks that are excitingly wobbly..."

Aromatron Pulse
Drivers!
bus

"Are you rude, cantankerous, bigoted and unpleasant?"

Echo...Echo

"Scene: A television studio midway through a live broadcast of the regional news programme Aye Up Yorkshire..."

Payday Porker
Subterranean Elephants
Underground elephant

"A new breed of subterranean elephant has been discovered by a team building an extension to the Paris Metro..."

Death Striker
deathstriker

"If recent health scares have taught us anything, it is that public and media alike are obsessed with the possibility of deadly plague..."

Galactic Phrasebook
What is soil made of?
soil diagram

"If mountains are made of rocks and oceans are made of rain, what is soil made of?"

Dirty Electric
Reception desk

"Complaints have ranged from sluggish and unresponsive electrical items, to noisy cables, damaged fuse boxes and smelly sockets..."

Today on the Dog Exchange
Graph

"There was frantic action on the Dog Exchange this morning after a sharp dip in Terriers sparked a run on Airedales..."

Uncle Bertie's Meat Pies
Geoffrey Clanger: No Parking

"A renaming committee has decided that henceforth Mr Geoffrey Clanger of Dunstable will be known as 'Coronation Avenue'..."

Con Artistes

"Conmen operating in the UK are becoming increasingly vocal about campaigns designed to limit their activities..."

Hollywood Sandwiches
book jacket

"The Golden Years of Movie Catering..."

Squeak off
Did Dinosaurs Wear Trousers?
Dinosaur in trousers

"That is set to be the most hotly debated topic at this year's International Dinosaur Symposium..."

A Fistful of Sausages
Film poster

"Next month the British Film Institute will screen a recently restored print of A Fistful of Sausages..."

Buy our shampoo
Dr Doggy
view

"Clifton Bassett is not your usual family doctor..."

It's a Fact
It's a Fact

with Donald Fact

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The Annual 2018

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The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

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Fun Run

Council sued under Trades Descriptions Act.

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Concerns for Ladder Astronaut

British spaceman missing.

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Caught by the Fuzz

New Recruitment Initiatives in UK policing

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The Museum of Found Noises

Parp Clang Twang Wubble-Wubble-Wubble-Wubble.

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Cracking the Cheese Genome

Final proof of the existence of cheese

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

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