The Art of Backpedalling

Government Minister Rick Boils has been forced to apologise for suggesting that using unemployed people as ballast for the new HS2 project was 'inhuman'.

HS2, or High Speed 2, is the name given to a new high speed rail connection between London and somewhere grim and rainy in the north. With a planned completion date of the second Wednesday in June 2032, the scheme is a major undertaking and it had been suggested that using unemployed people as ballast on the trackbed would be one way of keeping down the costs.

Mixed

Reaction to the idea has been mixed, ranging from cautious expressions of interest and enquiries about pension packages, to wholehearted enthusiasm for the opportunity of involvement in such an exciting and progressive enhancement to the country's transport infrastructure.

Unions, on the other hand, have slammed the scheme, claiming that being ground up into small lumps and strewn along a hundred miles of railway line is both an appalling waste of skilled workers and a contravention of the Working Time Directive.

Monstrous, inhuman and morally repugnant

Mr Boils initially appeared to support the Unions' view and was reported to have denounced the plan as 'monstrous, inhuman and morally repugnant'. It appears that he has now changed his mind.

"Using unemployed workers is an essential part of our reforms to end the something-for-nothing culture," the spineless time-server said in his most recent statement, which he was at pains to stress was not made as a result of being told to keep his fat mouth shut and stay on message by party bosses.

"I am a strong supporter of the scheme in both in principle and practice. Those who can work should work. And those who can lie down in the middle of a railway track and let trains run over them should stop being so selfish and be grateful that've finally found an occupation that gets them out into the open air."

skyline

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Celebrity Pizza Therapy

The latest celebrity craze.

Promo Image

The Devil's Arse on Tour

Big hole coming to your town.

Promo Image

Yeti Makeover

Mrs Stenchtrouser's quest to make the mythical beast presentable

Promo Image

Clown Hitman

Clown killer finally behind bars.

Promo Image

UK Government to Sell North Sea?

Documents are released which show government once considered sale of damp asset.

Promo Image

Tuesdays

Campaigning for the abolition of Tuesdays.

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

21 March 2019: Splosh

19 March 2019: Man Shreds Birth Certificate, Ceases to Exist

18 March 2019: CGI

Copyright © 2016