I scanned the devastated scene and slowly, disbelievingly I shook my head. "You don't fool me, Professor," I replied stubbornly. "This is Swansea - I'd recognise it anywhere."
When Geoff Dickson left work one foggy evening he didn't expect to wind up being chased across an alien landscape by giant snails intent on ripping him limb from limb. And yet that's exactly what happened to him after he stumbled across the eccentric Professor Mendes and his bizarre toilet experiments.
Once upon a time there were three bears: Mummy Bear, Daddy Bear, and their son Nigel, and much has been written about these unfortunate individuals throughout the years - none of which is strictly true.
The real story of the three bears concerns a terrifying flight from certain death, a desperate search for justice, the Loch Ness Monster, a potato with gunshot wounds, Bertie the Belgian Balloonist, the occasional interspatial warp matrix interface and a bag full of drugged crocodiles. Amongst other things. It's all perfectly simple, really...
At last, the true story of one of the greatest heroes of the space age can be told! The same spirit that propelled mankind from ignorant ape to master of his world, prompts one man to reach for the stars - driven only by his absolute faith, his prodigious bravery and an impressively large piece of elastic.
"One small step for man, one giant twang for mankind."
"I've come from the meter," he says, but all the while he keeps his eyes fixed on the glass in front of him. He takes a long pull on his beer, downing half of it in one go. He closes his eyes and lets out a gasp of sheer joy. Then he looks out of the window. "Out there," he says. "Out in the desert."
One man's epic journey in search of cleaning equipment
Sometimes we find that the simplest things in life have a way of pushing us beyond our limits. Some days the everyday ephemera of our little lives can prove to be the ultimate test of nerve. Sometimes, some days, we just need to find a broom.
"Nick De Ville tapped his long slender talons against the glass and bared his pointed yellow teeth in a parody of a smile..."
All material Copyright © Paul Farnsworth 2000-2011, and may not be reproduced, without the express permission of the author, in any medium including but not limited to personal blogs, messageboards and other internet forums. This restriction also applies to the hotlinking of images. Permission can be requested at email@example.com. All characters, companies and organisations are fictitious, and any similarity to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.