Fat Lizards

Animal welfare charities have recently reported a disturbing new trend in instances of cruelty to tortoises. Certain individuals have taken to waiting for them to go into hibernation and then 'bricking up their shells'. Although the animals remain quite comfortable and secure during the winter months, come spring they become confused and disorientated as they attempt to emerge only to find that their entrances have been blocked by several courses of badly pointed brickwork.

"It's a very distressing experience for them," said welfare officer Miriam Lettuce. "They go into a panic and try to force their way out through the leg holes. And even when they do manage to get out, many of them are so traumatised that they abandon their shells completely and live the rest of their lives as fat lizards."

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Excitement at discovery of Big-Eared Dinosaur

Yes sir, a good pair of ears is about the most useful thing that you could possibly have in the animal kingdom.

Promo Image

Diagnosis

This week we look at Tourettes

Promo Image

The Moonbeam Fresh Air System

Prof Moonbeam invents new kind of fan.

Promo Image

Come to MonkWorld!

See the monks in their natural habitat

Promo Image

Out now from Obvious Records

Records what we made up

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...