Climbing the Orinoco

In just a few short weeks, if all goes to plan, the name Elton Studsworthy will be a household word. Two household words, in fact, for if he is successful Mr Studsworthy will be the first person in history to climb the Orinoco.

Mr Studsworthy has been climbing for over twenty-five years. Not continuously, obviously - that would be silly. Nevertheless, he has managed to conquer some of the most formidable slopes this planet has to offer, including K2, Makalu and Nanga Parbat (go on - look them up). He's also done Everest the hard way - backwards up the North Face, whilst blindfolded and wearing a flaming straitjacket.

For such an accomplished climber there are very few challenges left, and so now that he has conquered the world's tallest peaks, Studsworthy has set himself the task of climbing the world's longest rivers. Studsworthy has chosen the Orinoco for his first river climb as he believes it should not present him with too much of a challenge. He has already spent a great deal of time waterproofing his crampons and treating his tent with a specially developed piranha repellent. And if this attempt is successful, he hopes to tackle the Zambezi next spring.

 

orinoco river

 

Return to Archive 3

The Annual 2017

FREE Download

Or read it online here.

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2015 The UBO Annual 2016 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

The Chipwriter

Taking potato printing to a new level.

Promo Image

Nail-It

Your complete security solution

Promo Image

Toaster Suicide

Death by appliance.

Promo Image

Subterranean Elephants

Underground pachyderms

Promo Image

Perfect Circle

Dr Ballcock invents the perfect circle.

Promo Image

Bad Grammar

Our members find that they are pillowried on message boreds and internet flora because of mispelings, the inappropriate erection of words, or bad grandma.

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

15 October 2017: Rinse Easy

04 September 2017: Fraudulent Bananas

02 September 2017: Orchestra Exchange

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk