McDonald's opens new branch in the Atlantic

McDonald's opens new branch in the Atlantic

Radical new developments in marine research have allowed giant burger chain McDonalds to open up its latest branch in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

Scientists at their top secret research labs in Mexico have perfected a technique of successfully waterproofing Big Macs, allowing the popular burgers to be eaten at depths of up to ten fathoms without any loss of flavour.

Bleeding mayonnaise

Experiments were first carried out in the late seventies, but were abandoned when researchers were unable to prevent mayonnaise bleeding into the surrounding seawater. However, recent advances in bun technology have now made it possible to precisely machine the burgers so that the two halves form a watertight seal.

This has also solved the problem of gherkins escaping and floating to the surface - admittedly no great loss in terms of burger flavour, but of great concern to environmentalists worried about possible gherkin slicks.

The occasional diver

So far, business has been slow for McDonald's mid-Atlantic branch, but manager Christian Pyle isn't too worried.

"The problem is there isn't much passing trade - just cruise ships, fishing boats and the occasional diver wanting directions to the Titanic. But it's early days yet - I'm sure things will pick up once word gets around," he mumbled incoherently through a snorkel.

 

 

Return to Archive 3

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Anti-Assertiveness Classes

Tone it down a bit.

Promo Image

Nobel Flap Award

Challenging work in the field of flap design.

Promo Image

Petunia Mulch - Plant Psychologist

If you've got a drooping rose bush, a sagging hydrangea or a bent tulip then Petunia Mulch can help.

Promo Image

Global Moistening

What to do with a wet planet

Promo Image

Cock

The magazine for young gentlemen

Promo Image

Eazee-post

Making internet forums less twatty

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

21 March 2019: Splosh

19 March 2019: Man Shreds Birth Certificate, Ceases to Exist

18 March 2019: CGI

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
Copyright ©