Police Crackdown on Agricultural Raves

Funky Cow

This is really irritating, isn't it?

 

Farmers are calling for stricter laws after an increase in the number of illegal raves being held on farmland in Southern England. "The police don't seem to want to do anything about it," said landowner Dick Silage. "They don't seem to realise the damage it does. There's loud music going on till the early hours of the morning - me and the wife can't get a wink of sleep, so God knows what effect it's having on the livestock.

"Well I can't have my cows jigging about till dawn and popping 'E's every five minutes, now can I? And the sheep just haven't got the constitution for that kind of lifestyle. It has hit my egg production really hard - the hens can't be bothered to lay, 'cause they're up partying all night."

Chief Inspector Dan Pancake defended the police force's position and claimed that they were doing everything in their power to track down the organisers. "We believe it's a gang of pigs from the city," he said. "We can't say very much at the moment, but we're following up a number of promising leads, and we're currently interviewing Mixmaster Porky Slicktrotter about his role in a spate of raves in Oxfordshire."

 

Return to Archive 2

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Are You Ready For Digital Ornithology?

For the first time ever twitchers can enjoy high definition birds in 12 billion colours

Promo Image

Splitting the Crotchet

The anatomy of a jazz particle

Promo Image

The Art of Backpedalling

Government Minister Rick Boils has been forced to apologise.

Promo Image

Fish Olympics

Aquatic Athletics

Promo Image

Night of the Womble

Lost Womble book to be published.

Promo Image

Machiavelli Management Solutions

Putting your mind at rest

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

22 December 2017: How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

21 December 2017: Evening Classes at The University of the Bleeding Obvious

20 December 2017: A Ding-Dong over Duvets

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk