An Anglo-Saxon Christmas

Archaeologists have discovered what they believe to be a haul of unwanted Anglo-Saxon Christmas presents under a car park in the West Midlands. The collection is still being cleaned and catalogued, but already some very interesting finds have been announced, including a scented bath set, some comedy reindeer antlers and a fragment of a storage jar - because there's always a storage jar.

"This is a very exciting find," lied chief trowel waggler, Ian Soil. "We know quite a lot about the Anglo-Saxons. We know where they lived, what they ate, where they worked and what they built. But this is the first indication that we've had about the kind of crap they gave each other for Christmas."

Mr Soil, a dour man with filth under his fingernails and a dirty look on his face, went on to explain why he is particularly pleased with this find. "Everything is so perfectly preserved," he told us as he fiddled with something unpleasantly in his pocket. "The goods are all in their original packaging and have been very carefully stowed away. More importantly, everything has its original receipt, which means we stand a good chance of being able to take all of this shit back to the shop and get a refund."