Monsters

Monster

A recent report released by the Home Office reveals a dramatic increase in the number of people being attacked by monsters.

In the first quarter of last year police stations across the UK received over 400 reports from members of the public who had been set upon by giant slavering beasties. That's 120 more than in the same period the previous year. What's more, it seems that the monsters themselves are becoming more fearsome, on average being two feet taller, with much sharper teeth, shaggier fur and even more bloodshot eyes.

Add to this the recent high profile outbreak of Trolls in the South East, plus an ongoing epidemic of Werewolves in Lancashire, and it becomes obvious that there is now a real cause for concern. In fact, experts predict that by this time next year the UK will be a 60% scarier place to live in.

 

 

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New earwax deposits found.
Vet exams to be made easier.
Mr Ooluv has fun at your expense
Relax with chickens
The contempt it deserves
'Sadly, not everyone can handle themselves as well as I can'
Campaigning for the abolition of Tuesdays.
Darrens are dying out in Essex.
The Quest for the World's Greatest Sandwich
Dating at 150mph.

 

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