Crime Waves

A report commissioned by the Home Office has revealed that for the year 2015/2016 the crime rate in the North Sea was practically zero.

At depths of around 95 metres, instances of housebreaking were significantly lower than the national average, and car theft was practically unheard of. In deeper regions the statistics were even more striking.

Researchers are currently looking into the reason for these impressive figures. No conclusions have yet been reached, but many police forces around the country are already experimenting with planting seaweed in troubled night-spots in order to stem the outbreak of violent crime.

crime waves

 

Return to Archive 2

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Thinking of Buying an Octopus?

What you need to know

Promo Image

The Creeper and Other Motorists

At traffic lights his vehicle will be in a constant state of motion.

Promo Image

Subterranean Elephants

Underground pachyderms

Promo Image

Gerald de Scooter's Restaurant Guide

I've been stuffing myself silly in dozens of top class swanky restaurants.

Promo Image

new Printy Inkbuddy 4000

Step-by-step instructions for your piece of junk printer.

Promo Image

Wilmington Cake Repairs

Relief for cracked fondant

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

21 March 2019: Splosh

19 March 2019: Man Shreds Birth Certificate, Ceases to Exist

18 March 2019: CGI