Instant Davids

from Buddygrow

Cultivating friendships isn't easy...

Going to all the trouble of discovering mutual interests, finding topics for discussion, remembering birthdays and arranging get-togethers.  Hmmm, it's a problem.   Especially if, like me, you're a miserable, bitter, resentful misanthrope who hates the world, despises company and wishes everybody would just fuck off and leave you alone.   Wouldn't it be great if you could just grow your friends from seed, nurture them and train them to behave exactly the way you want them to behave?  Hey, well guess what?   Now you can!

Each packet of Instant David seeds contains four hundred potential friends just waiting to spring to life.  Just plant in approximately six inches of compost, water liberally and wait for mother nature to do her work.  Before very long you'll have a fine crop of best buddies just waiting to be harvested. 



No more sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring!  No more going to the pub on your own!  With Instant Davids you can have your very own gang of mates for a fraction of the cost of real friends.  And you'll never be caught talking to yourself on the bus into town ever again!

WARNING: standard packets of Instant Davids may contain rogue Colins and trace elements of Darren.  Contents may settle in transit.  Buddygrow cannot be held responsible in the event that your new friend turns out to be a twat.


Return to The Last Gasp

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Beware bedding-based scams
Big-eared discovery gets scientists in a flap
Make mealtimes go with a bang.
Your complete security solution
Earth will be nothing more than a huge pie hanging in space.
'If mountains are made of rocks and oceans are made of rain, what is soil made of?'
Owned and operated by the Royal Family
A gobful of abuse from young Paul certainly strikes home.
Dating at 150mph.
'Diagnose your problem with this tool, you diseased wretch'

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

16 May 2022: The Sandwich: #337

15 May 2022: The Sandwich: #336

14 May 2022: The Sandwich: #335

Copyright © 2006