The Sandwich: #198

The Sandwich


I closed my eyes, thought about adding two ducks together and stepped through the big cardboard boffin detector thing. Don't bother asking me why, ok. Just don't. I have previously explained all this, and if you can't be bothered to pay attention, then that is just tough. Anyway, as I passed through the machine, there was a rumble, a grinding noise, a whistle, a big trump, a whoosh and a final ping. I suspect that at least one of those noises was me. Sorry about that, but I get nervous, and what with all the concentrating and everything, so I think I can be forgiven if the odd parp escapes.

Anyhow, that ping at the end seemed quite positive. I cautiously opened my eyes to find that I hadn't been lasered or exploded or electro-fried or anything. The boffin gauge on the machine was reading "5.2". To be fair, it always read "5.2" because it had been drawn on in felt tip pen, but all the same I took it as a good sign.

"Did I pass?" I asked the security guard.

"Yeah, you passed," she said. "Do you want a badge?"

I don't really understand sarcasm, so I said, "Yes please," and she gave me a sticker that said I had been a brave little boy. Joy! I do enjoy a successful infiltration.



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