The Sandwich: #162

The Sandwich


My old actors are demonstrating their pickypockety skills and I am making a thorough assessment of their abilities. I have a clipboard and also a hardhat, in case of accidents. The music starts and they start their routine. It is very odd. It involves a lot of singing and dancing about while Dodger pretends to be the "mark" and they all make a great kerfuffle about trying to pick his pockets.

I start writing things down on my clipboard, but then it gets boring so I doodle a picture of a rabbit instead. His name is Bernard and he likes to eat cauliflower - remind me to tell you about him some time. Anyway, eventually it is all over and I stand up, say the word "phew" and put my hands on my hips. I am not happy.

"What the flip was that?" I say. "You can't pick someone's pockets while you are leaping about and singing 'You've Got to Pick a Pocket or Two'. It's a dead giveaway - someone's bound to notice. You have to be surreptishis... syruptaty... surrendipitish... You have to do it secretly. Like this."

I very sneakily tapped one of the elderly urchins on the shoulder, pointed out of the window, then when he was looking the other way, I nicked his wallet. "Now you try," I said to Dodger.

Dodger tried it. I he tapped the urchin on the shoulder, pointed out the window but when he tried to pick the pocket his elderly hands were shaking so much he couldn't get anywhere near. In his frustration, he hit the guy with a lamp, laid him out cold and lifted the wallet from his unconscious form.

"Unsubtle but effective," I said. "It'll do. Boys, I think we're ready."



For too long Geoffs have been ignored by society
'Bigger, Better, Faster, Now!'
Parish newsletter
Aristocrat's knees saved for the nation
Picturesque county goes on tour.
Never be burnt alive by indecision again
Your complete security solution
Sarnies of the rich and famous
Ricky Stratocaster's history of Rock
Incosiderate spacemen


Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs


The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...