The Sandwich: #95

The Sandwich

#95

I have formed a banjo band with my two meerkat mates and we are currently rehearsing ahead of a major national tour. Itchy MacGyver has said that we should start by touring small clubs and theatres before we tackle the big stadium gigs, because this will help us refine our act and gel as a band. Also, he didn't think many people were ready to pay money to watch two meerkats and a Norwegian cotton salesman playing banjos. Me and Sniffy Pickles agreed with him because Itchy is usually right about these things. Also, if we argue with him, he hits us with a plank.

But before all that, we have to think of a name for the band. We've had several ideas. At first I thought that we could call ourselves The Spanner Heads, because I quite like spanners and they are always useful things to have around. Sniffy then suggested we should call ourselves Baby Carrot, because people think babies are cute and everybody likes carrots, so the name would combine the best of two very different worlds, i.e. infants and vegetables. I disagreed as I personally do not like the taste of carrots and I have never eaten a baby, so I suggested that we should call ourselves The Sock Detectives instead, since having a sock detective around would be jolly groovy, especially if you are missing a sock.

At this point, Itchy hit us a both with a plank and said that we should call ourselves Deep Purple, so we're going with that.

 

coin

Get access to our library for just £1!
14 books for you to download, including all our annuals and the EXCLUSIVE members-only Private Bits.

books

Click Here to get your download link.

Close

Private Bits

Private Bits

This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

Download here for just £1.

The UBO Annual 2021

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2021

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

Stupid Stories

Stupid Stories

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2020

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2020

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2018

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2017

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2017

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 1

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 1

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 2

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 2

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Company salutes to maintain loyalty
Vet exams to be made easier.
Donald Fact's collectable card series.
Twenty thousand sharks a week pass over Mr Pong's farm
Stronger lettuces for hardier salads.
Why can't these people just stay at home?
The art of folding furniture
Whatx's the interest rate on sausages?
Bid to reclassify donkeys as vegetables.

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...