The Sandwich: #89

The Sandwich

#89

So, I have broken out pf prison, but I am still a wanted man, so it is important for me to adopt a disguise. I am very good at doing disguises and moving unnoticed through all levels of society - you just ask the head of security at Chessington World of Adventures, he will tell you that he has never seen me there. Ha! Of course, this is because I have never been to Chessington's World of All the Adventures, but the head security guard is not to know that, is he? You see, that's how good I am.

I have adopted many great disguises over the years. I once wrapped myself in clingfilm, put a bucket on my head and infiltrated the local hospital disguised as Professor Brian Cox. No one suspected a thing! Also, I once painted myself blue, sellotaped some flippers to my arms and strolled around backstage at the Albert Hall, pretending to be that bloke who did the Coast programme before he went mental. Again, no one suspected a thing. And another time I rolled myself in breadcrumbs and went to a U2 concert disguised as a fish finger. Yet again, no one suspected a thing, although I was followed around by an Airedale terrier who seemed to have an inclination that something was up.

For my prison breakout I have decided to disguise myself as Dr Heinrich Crabs, a Norwegian cotton wool salesman from Oslo. My papers are in order, I can do the voice, so nothing can go wrong.

 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Become fluent in Venusian!
Replacing your wiring with sausages.
Classic Kids' TV from the '70s
'Help for your drooping rose, sagging hydrangea or bent tulip'
The latest celebrity craze.
Grow your best friends from seed
The origins of a classic Sci-fi franchise
Modified pets for all occasions
Mountain range requires repointing.
Belinda Sommers reviews this pile of toss

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...