The Sandwich: #44

The Sandwich


I have become a fire eater overnight! It's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it, and you're not too bothered about retaining the ability to taste your breakfast. Today was my first performance in the big top and I discovered two important life lessons. Number one: fire eating makes you really, really, really thirsty. And b), circus tents burn really easily. I mean, it was like WUMP! and I'm like 'what happened to my eyebrows?' and 'where's this draught coming from?'

Now the circus is out of business, the elephants have been barbecued and the circus manager seems to think that it's my fault. I think this is grossly unfair, and I told him so. "Hey listen," I said to him. "You can't expect me to eat that much fire, I've only been doing this for one day. I did my best." And it's true, I really did do my best. It's only due to my diligent devotion to my art that the juggler and the tattooed lady were saved. To be fair, even the highwire walker was only lightly singed.

Anyway, the manager told me to get out of his sight, which at the time I took to be an invitation to play hide and seek. I went and hid in his cupboard, and he promptly dragged me out by the scruff of my neck and threw me outside. Well, that wasn't very sporting, I thought. He was supposed to close his eyes and count to twenty before he came looking for me. Do you know, if these circus folk don't have the common decency to observe the rules of simple playground games, then I think I'm better off out of it.



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