Hey you there! Yes you!

Just come home from work? Bet you're kind of hungry, yes? Hmmmm. What you need after a hard day at the office is an Uncle Bertie's Meat Pie.

Uncle Bertie uses only the very best gristle and gelatine, which is why households up and down the country choose Uncle Bertie's Meat Pies time and time again.

The whole family loves them!

Look at little Johnny - he can't wait to get stuck into his lamb and onion pasty. And the way young Mary's eyeing that steak and kidney, it doesn't look like it will last long. Better be quick Dad, or there'll be none left! What's that Grandma? You want to know how we get our pork pies so shiny? Trust me, you don't want to know!

But seriously, here at Uncle Bertie's Meat Products we believe that the old ways are the best. We make traditional pies, the traditional way - with traditional ingredients, and using tried and tested traditional methods.

Of course, you're wondering how we can afford to provide such value for money? Well the answer's quite simple. All of our products are made by traditional idiots.

That's the ticket!

We don't use fancy continental chefs, with their weird communist ideas about decent wages. Take a look at our packing plant: you won't find any snooty production operatives who think themselves above getting the odd limb trapped in a conveyor belt every once in a while. There are no unions here, and you can be sure that we won't sacrifice flavour for the sake of a little health and safety.

At Uncle Bertie's Meat Products we use good old fashioned retards who are perfectly happy to work for practically nothing, and don't mind losing the occasional finger to the mincer.

And have we got it right? You'd better ask Cousin Larry. From the way he's tucking into that sausage roll he doesn't seem to be in any doubt. Go for it Larry!

Uncle Bertie's Meat Pies

Traditional products, made the traditional way

whistling chap

Just look for the sign of the Whistling Mong

 

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
coin

Get access to our library for just £1!
14 books for you to download, including all our annuals and the EXCLUSIVE members-only Private Bits.

books

Click Here to get your download link.

Close

Private Bits

Private Bits

This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

Download here for just £1.

The UBO Annual 2021

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2021

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

Stupid Stories

Stupid Stories

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2020

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2020

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2018

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2017

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2017

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 1

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 1

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 2

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 2

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Woman demolished to make way for development.
Taking potato printing to a new level.
For men of character
Mr Ooluv has fun at your expense
Stuffing myself silly in swanky restaurants.
We're really great
Interesting Jobs No 419
World's fattest man struck by earthquake
The Royal State Stair Lift
A new approach to fat removal.

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

21 October 2021: The Sandwich: #130

20 October 2021: The Sandwich: #129

19 October 2021: The Sandwich: #128