The Amazing Mr Ooluv's

Mr Ooluv World of the Wacky

The Amazing Mind Reading Trick

First write down the words "Jesus Christ!" on a piece of paper, then fold it carefully so that no one can see. Next, choose a victim and tell him that you can predict the very next words he will say. He won't believe you, of course, and might even be prepared to bet a lot of money to prove you wrong.

Once you've accepted his wager, heat up two steel rods in a fire, then ram them hard up the victim's nostrils. Your friends will be amazed when he cries out the very phrase you've written down, and you'll be quids in!

The Amazing Paralysing Limb Trick

Here's a good one. Choose a victim and tell him that you can perform a secret Buddhist ritual that will make him lose all control of his left arm. He won't believe you, of course, and might even be prepared to bet a lot of money to prove you wrong.

Once you've accepted his wager, tell him to close his eyes and slowly touch the tip of his nose with his left hand. Next, tell him to do the same with his right. Then, while he's distracted, grab his arm and slam it repeatedly in a door until it becomes all useless. (Note: you might have to slam the door quite hard before the arm breaks). Your friends will be amazed when he suddenly loses all command of the limb, and you'll be quids in!

The Amazing Disappearing Pencil Trick

For this one you will need a really sharp pencil and mallet. First... actually I think you can probably figure this one out for yourself.

Needless to say, your friends will be amazed, possibly sickened, when your victim hobbles away after his close encounter with the contents of your pencil case - which is just as well since by now you should have had all their spare cash off them anyway.

 

 

Taken from The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2015

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The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2015

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