Announcing the iSpong

The iSpong

It was with great excitement that Apple announced the impending launch of its new iSpong. We caught up with Arthur Probably who spared us a few moments of his valuable time to answer some of the burning questions that technophiles the world over are dying to ask.

 

So, tell us, what exactly can the iSpong do?

Well, everything that a regular spong can do, of course, but with internet connectivity and full data backup. We're really excited about the whole project.

What advantages will it have over traditional spongs?

Oh this is really exciting. It can be linked to your phone or to your computer at home and give real-time feedback. This is something that has never been done before and we think that it has real potential for totally changing the way that people spong in the future.

This isn't the first time someone has tried to improve on traditional manual spongs. How will this device be different?

Previous electronic spongs were cumbersome, unwieldy and prone to go off unexpectedly. The iSpong has solved many of these problems. It's smaller, it's sleeker and it has a little blue flashing light at the end.

Who is your target audience? Is it aimed at hardcore spongophiles?

We're thinking, initially, of traditional early adopters - those same people who were quick to get on board with the iTwunt and the iFlob. But we hope to create a groundswell of interest and reach people who may never previously have considered owning a spong of any sort.

Do you expect to meet with any resistance from the sponging community?

We hope they will see that the iSpong compliments their regular sponging activities rather than competing. But while we can see the iSpong being used as a training or demonstration aid in professional sponging, I can't imagine it replacing the traditional competition spongs made from walnut, granite or lard.

It was recently rumoured that Microsoft are in the process of developing a Windows Spong. Do you see this as being a serious competitor for your product?

Well, I can't really comment on what they may or may not be doing. Ultimately, of course, any kind of competition is good for the market. But I can't really comment. Anyway, I gather they've had some trouble with the operating system. But, as I say, I can't really comment.

So you see the iSpong being an important brand for you going forward?

We think it has that potential, yes. In fact, we're in the early stages of planning iSpong2, which will have advanced GPS capabilities and an extra cup holder.

That's great. So finally - probably the most important question - will it be available in any other colours?

Yes. Yes it will.

 

Grateful thanks to Arthur Probably for answering our questions, and for the loan of the trousers.

 

Taken from The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2016

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