Fishys

Fish

Millicent Lunge, a ladybread seller from Daventry, is spearheading a campaign to have keys put on the insides of pilchard tins, so that pilchards that aren't quite stiff-dead can let themselves out. Apparently this is a big achy headproblem for many fish, who frequently find themselves tinned alive. Poor fishys - it's so difficult to tell whether they are all sleepy-bedy or croaky-deady, so they all get jumbled up together and wake in the oily darkness in a frightful shiverpanic. Nasty time.

Scientist men say that brain death for fish is when they look all slimy-gormless, which is why so many are pronounced deceased even though they still flip flap about and squirt water in your eye. Ms Millicent says that insidey keys will end this inhuman badness and allow not-dead fishys to escape, so that they can expire with dignity in the back of your cupboard. Awwww.

She also wants zippers put on bags of prawns.

Return to Archive 4

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
coin

Get access to our library for just £1!
14 books for you to download, including all our annuals and the EXCLUSIVE members-only Private Bits.

books

Click Here to get your download link.

Close

Private Bits

Private Bits

This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

Download here for just £1.

The UBO Annual 2021

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2021

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

Stupid Stories

Stupid Stories

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2020

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2020

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2018

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

The UBO Annual 2017

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2017

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 1

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 1

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

UBO Vol 2

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Vol 2

Order via Amazon UK

Order via Amazon US

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Revenue collection is an evolving art
The dark side of interior decorating
No. 128: Chinese Shelves.
by Dick Smidgin (BA) - Motivational Keynote Speaker
Maisy Donnington tells us how to sit on a chair.
We'll find someone to blame
Land your dream job
Step-by-step instructions for your piece of junk printer.
The miracle of laser eye surgery
'Quick, there's no time to think I'm sexy now''

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

17 September 2021: The Sandwich: #96

16 September 2021: The Sandwich: #95

15 September 2021: The Sandwich: #94