A revolutionary new breakthrough in beard technology!
Men, do you need to grow a beard? Fast?

Then you need to get in touch with us here at Bristletech Industries.

Over the last few years, Bristletech has supplied quality, pre-grown beards to over fifty thousand satisfied customers.

And demand is growing.

We already operate twenty large-scale beard farms in Europe and the Middle East, and this year we have plans to acquire eight more. Our largest covers over twenty acres on the outskirts of Milan and has recently received a special award from the Grand Council of Affiliated Whisker Inspectors.

Our secret? Well, it's really no secret at all. We sow our fields with top grade beard seed, water, nourish and wait for nature to do her work.

When (and only when) the beards have ripened in the warm Mediterranean sun, we pick them and take them along to the stamping plant to be cut into shape.

Finally, they are delicately finished by hand - trimmed, tinted and carefully combed, before being shipped out to department stores and boutiques all over the world.

Whatever kind of beard you want, whether it's a sophisticated goatee, to a full blown fuzz-fest - we can supply exactly what you need.

 

Bristletech
Building Our Business on a Firm Base

 

Tough, durable and fully machine washable, a Bristletech beard will last you a lifetime and make you the envy of your friends and colleagues

Bristletech Industries

Available from all good stores
Order now and get a free pair of complimentary eyebrows, while stocks last!

 

Beard Catalogue

- click here to visit our online catalogue -

Return to Archive 3

InstagramFacebookTwitter
The art of folding furniture
Teaching carrots to fly
Experiments have limited success.
Skydiving holidays with a difference
They're still stuck up there
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Operation Growbag
Two Bongs from a Gong and Three quick ding-dongs in the night
Sticks for all the family
Ricky Stratocaster's history of Rock
The Metropolitan Police Choir in concert

 

Extreme DinosaursTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

26 January 2022: The Sandwich: #227

26 January 2022: Bakery Threatened With Closure Due to Lead Buns

25 January 2022: The Sandwich: #226

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
Copyright © 2001