Speed Dating

Speedo

People looking for love now have a much better chance of finding their perfect partner, thanks to the latest craze of 'Speed Dating'.

The new phenomenon currently sweeping the country involves men and women who are each introduced to a number of potential partners at speeds in excess of over 150 miles per hour. At these sorts of velocities most relationships progress at a greatly increased rate.

The practical upshot of this is that couples can meet, get to know each other, argue, fall out and end up bitterly despising each other all in the space of approximately three minutes.

The practice is an off-shoot of the slightly less romantic 'Pressure Dating' in which couples are trussed up in diving suits, thrown out of a motor launch and allowed to plummet to depths of over fifty fathoms as a test to see if they're really serious about this whole relationship business.

 

 

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Private Bits

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This 70-page PDF is packed full of silly stuff you won't find anywhere else.

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Get those wonky flappers fixed
Learn the international language or motoring.
Jez Moonbeam discovers the joke particle
At traffic lights his vehicle will be in a constant state of motion.
Patent stink technology
Fergus Pong invites us to his rural information hub.
Punching singers in the mouth
A gobful of abuse from young Paul certainly strikes home.
Malevolent operating system
Maisy Donnington tells us how to sit on a chair.

 

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