Liposuction

"There are basically two schools of thought when it comes to the removal of excess fat," says Dr Hilliary Biscuit of the South East Yorkshire Clinic for the Cripplingly Obese. "There's sucking and there's blowing.

"Well, liposuction has been around for a while now, and it's had its chance. It's time for a new approach."

The new approach that Doctor Biscuit has in mind is to throw the whole procedure into reverse. Literally. He inserts a tube down the patient's throat, connects it to a powerful, industrial strength compressor and switches on - blasting that unwanted flab straight out of the patient's rear end.

"I won't deny that it comes as a bit of a shock to most people," Doctor Biscuit admits. "But at least it's quick. And anyway, as far as the patient is concerned it's a relatively simple procedure. It's the guy who has to stand at the other end with a bucket that I feel sorry for."

liposuction

 

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Learn the international language or motoring.
Cathedral root system causes concern
Mr Harold Pogley's massive organ
The enemy is listening for your flatulence. Watch your emissions.
Meat movie classics
'At last, a revolution in automated sponging.'
Books what we made up
Find your perfect sandwich
Campaigning for the abolition of Tuesdays.
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