Debt Matters
Making you aware of your debt.
Did Man Really Go To Belgium?
The dark truth behind the Belgian conspiracy
Inside the Nun Factory
Where do nuns come from?
The Horse-Drawn Record Player
Equestrian technology.
Skydiving
Skydiving without the unnecessary inconvenience of a parachute.
Bing Crosby Boxing
Punching singers in the mouth.
Slugbond
Because an inflated slug is a happy slug.
Petunia Mulch
Plant psychologist.
Hear and Now
For collectors of rare and unusual sounds.
Songs of Inspiration
Jesus Wants Me For His Darts Team.
Selling Crap for Fun and Profit
The very best in useless tat.
Arty Tomatoes
Guy Pakker's latest artistic venture.
Nuclear Garden
Mr Sideboard is not happy about his exploding shed.
Local Heroes
Outstanding achievements in the field of vandalism.
Stuff Your Bleeding Job
How to resign digracefully.
Squeak Off
The big noise in footwear technology.
Words of wisdom from our resident medic
...Tigers ...Moles ...Farm Machinery ...Hypnotism ...Fruit ...Soap ...Implants ...Pianos ...Happy Clappers ...The Environment
The Montreux Clinic For Aural Readjustment
Get your wonky flappers straightened here
Lillywhite Lenny
On the importance of staying on the fecking horse.
A Ding-Dong Duvets
Prof Reynaud pulls a fast one.
Brick II
Recycling the rubble.
Machiavelli Management Solutions
Discipline over distance.
Rationalising Britain's River Network
Britain's waterways need straightening,
How To Be Sweary
with Professor Timothy Bottom.
Spooky Doings
The magazine of weird and improbable stuff.
How to Look After Your Cement Mixer
A great addition to any home.
Doing the Lord's Work
Vicars on the job.
Staff Handbook
A handy guide to your new workplace.
Gin!
Gin, gin and more gin!
A Very Local Paper
All the news that's local to Mr Henry Droop, Littlehampton.
Centuri Space Supplies
Second hand space travel
Punctuation Crisis
We're running out of apostrophes.
Gentlemen's Etiquette
How to behave right proper and all that.
Veg-U-Like
Tomatoes, cauliflower, brussel sprouts and peas - collect the whole set.
Typists of the Kalahari
Shorthand tigers and double entry hippos.
Is Your Tortoise Roadworthy?
Important news from the Ministry of Tortoises.
Baby's First Swear
Teach your little angel to swear like a trooper.
Anti-Assertiveness Classes
Tone it down a bit.
Butterfly
Prof Jim Spanners explains chaos theory
Doing Lengths
Mr Zing is swimming from pole to pole
Fraudulent Bananas
Phony fruit.
Glen Twerk is not at Work
Caveat emptor, quo vadis.
The Battersea Wigs Home
We never put a healthy wig down.
Why Your Printer Doesn't Work
Most of these devices are allergic to paper.
Brixham Trouser Museum
The UK 's premier ttouser experience.
Something Happened on Tuesday
Probably, but we're not sure what.
Space Things
The continuing adventures of Astro Cat.
Whose Legs Are These?
The gameshow for all the family
Rob Hammond's Essential Guide to Buddhism
Rob Hammond will give you a spiritual kicking,
The Bleeding Obvious
You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
Donald Fact's Fact Blast
It's a Fact, brought to you by Crunchy Flakes.
The Wackiest Person in the UK
Alison Perkins is a mad as a fish.
The Aromatron
A whole new world of smells awaits you.
A Sustained Corporate Battering
We're concerned about Mr Pyle
Are you ready for Digital Ornithology?
Analogue birds are about to be switched off.
The Prime Time Gameshow Generator
As used by TV executives worldwide.
Eazee-post
Taking the pain out of internet forums.
Drive-by Wallpapering
Delinquent decorating.
An Important Announcement about Fish
Clever trout and erudite pilcards.
SciFi Fan Draws a Blank
Publisher leaves pages blank to cut costs.
Quality Service at Pooley's
With our motoring correspondent, Martin Carburetor.
Rod Stewart and Enya's Rock 'n' Roll Mysteries
Solving crimes and fighting bad guys.
The Ultimate Procrastination Suite
Just been handed a project but can't be bothered to get started?
Diagnosis
Professor Wimple has a dirty mouth.
What Is It?
How what why when who where and when? Hello?
Forward to the '80s
How we'll all be travelling in the '80s.
Linguini!
Learn to speak fluent pasta.
We're No Longer Recruiting...
...but here are some of the unlucky applicants
How Long is a Piece of String?
The hit gameshow for all the family.
Crystal N.R.G.
Harnessing the mystical bollocks of the universe.
Death By Pastry
A huge pie just hanging in space.
The Embarrasment of Nasal Hair Loss
Nostril wigs for all occasions
Cosmic Background Apathy
Will the universe keep expanding until it can't be bothered anymore?
'Ello 'Ello 'Ello, What's All This Then?
Presenting The Metropolitan Police Choir.
The Sandwich Advisor
Buying a sandwich is the third most stressful thing you can do.
Welcome to Stick World
If you like sticks, well, we've got sticks.
Not Funny
Prof Jez Moonbeam is laughable.
Some People You've Never Heard Of
Rancid Alan Grease and others.
The Great Space Exhibition
Glorious innovations and technical marvels!
The Square Root of Green
Fresh breakthrough in the science of colourology.
Dougal Fridgely
Possible dwarf planet discovered in Tadcaster
Teaching Carrots to Fly
The cutting edge of vegetable warfare.
Jehovah's Cleaners
Because cleanliness is nexr to godliness.
Man Blames ESA for Domestic Eclipse
Mr Cravat is not happy about where they park their stuff.
Carter-Pierrepoint
Particulate mapping of key delivery nodes.
Thinking of Buying an Octopus?
How to look after your squishy friend.
Auras by Post?
Spruce up your chakras
Topping Talent
Featuring the Marvellous Undersea Kingdom of Colin Chocolate.
Pooley's Fire Distinguisher
Put paid to that firey bullshit.
Grampion Strangely's Mountain Rescue
These vulnderable mountains need your help.
What's On in Lower Bumpstead
A packed programme, following that unfortunate incident with the fire eater.
Caught by the Fuzz
New Recruitment Initiatives within the UK Police Force.
Bristletech Industries
Do you need to grow a beard? Fast?
Ant Facts
with Donald Fact.
Motorcycle Display Teams
A bunch of blokes twatting about on bikes.
10 Things You Never Knew About Frogs
Frogtastic Facts
Pigchums
Meet likeminded pigs in your area!
The Language of Dance
Jazz hands and quickstep.
Cut Price Chips
You like chips? You like lots of chips?
Criminal Offence Self-Assessment Form
Tick the box if you're a wrong 'un.
Cock
The magazine for young gentlemen.
Exploding Dinners
Put the fun back into dinner time.
St Tiddles in the Font
Parish newsletter.
Tripping the Dark Fantastic
Hello darkness my old friend
Your Staff Feedback, Your Way
Tired of hearing from ungrateful and misguided staff?
Oven Chimps
With none of the greasy aftertaste of regular monkeys.
Barry the Road Safety Owl
No nonsense advice from a wise old bird
Maisy Donnington's Guide to Perking Yourself Up
Turn that frown upside down.
The Unusual Suspects
A message from Det. Insp. Barker Harris.
Top Twenty Albums of the '70s
With Ricky Stratocaster, professor of twangology.
The Alternative Olympics
Speed swingball and dodgem rallying.
Dolby Noise Reduction Sausages
Cut out the hiss next breakfast time.
Dobbins of Doncaster
Get yourself a quality ass.
Buy Our Shampoo
Just buy it, ok.
Barney's Magic Wonder Show
Belinda Sommers reviews the latest production.
World of Holes
Europe's leading stockist of quality holes.
Knitting in Colour
This day in 1956 saw the introduction of the first regular colour knitting patterns.
Emergency Kebabs
When you absolutely positively need a kebab.
The Kidderminster Lemon Exchange
Open now for faster, more reliable lemon exchange.
Maisy Donnington's Office Safety
How to avoid the business end of a stapler.
Buttock Express
Your arse in our hands.
Bean Legacy
This summer, Christian Bale is Mr Bean.
So Special
Special beauty therapies for very special people.
Cosmos Rocks
In an infinite universe, there is no limit to human gullibility.
Pretty Pictures
Better management through crayons.
Wind Tunnel Technician
Pardon?
Ralph Trundle: F1 Driver
We talk to a legend of the circuit
Night of the Womble
Unpublished Womble book is dystopian nightmare.
An Old Fart Remembers
Do you remember Puthering Day?
Ricky Stratocaster's History of Rock
Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery
Save cash - fix your own pets in the comfort of your own home.
Metal Detecting
German U-Boat Found on Devon Beach.
Moroccan Dancing Moles
David Attenburger's Wonderful World of Nature.
It's a Fact!
More facts from the Funky Fact Feller.
Fats Porker - Blues Whinger
In memory of Crappsville's finest son.
Traffic Watch
Heavy vibes are causing delays on the A52.
Flexi Mortem
The only credit card you can use after death.
The Fish Olympics
Piscine polevaulting and haddock hurdles.
The National Key Museum!
We've got keys!
Astralguard
Insurance for Astral Travellers.
Global Moistening
Fear of a wet planet.
Scrufty's Magic Juju Shoppe
A tale of oconker mismanagement.
Mrs Womble writes...
One-Sided Dice
One-Sided Dice for Fatalists.
Digital Vicars
The secret ways that vicars communicate?
Wisbech
Theft of town exposed as hoax.
No More Glasses!
Fry sausages with just a wink of the eye.
Core Competencies in Office Furniture
Sign up for a certificate in filing cabinets.
The Beaufort Scale
Slight wafts and uninvited pumps.
Poot
Bigger, Better, Faster, Now!
Art
Selwyn Peach paints Elephants
The Delusion of J Henry Proudfoot
We meet an alien archaeologist.
Mr & Mrs Pottle are Lost Again
Why can't these people just stay at home?
Fatquake
A sad farewell to the world's fatest man.
So You've Got a New Manager?
How to stop it crapping in your in tray.
Donald Fact's Fact Breakers
Remembering the classic '70s kids' show.
Yeti Makeover
Mrs Stenchtrouser is planning an expedition.
Tax, What Tax?
Sir John Wyndrell has never heard of his own company.
Fleegle
New number has consequences for the future of the universe. And bingo.
Spread the Good Word!
Your chance to buy shares in the Salvation Army!
Octo-Fever
Are you allergic to octopuses?
Blood Donors Needed
Please bleed into the envelope provided.
An Open Letter to Shepton Bassett Park & Zoo
Sorry about your monkeys.
Some more stupid than others.
Barry Buys a Broom
Dirty Doings at Featherstone Manor
Board Meeting
The Day Before Tomnorrow
Tall Story in a Short Glass
The Hedgehog King
The Mystery of the Shitfaced Man
Venus by Catapult
You Again
Death, Doom and Disaster
Goldilocks and the Free Bears
Cake Rage
Pastry related assaults.
Shepton Bassett - A Vision for the Future
Better late than never, our town plan.
Feathered Friends
Could you befriend a lonely parrot?
The Shepton Bassett Village Fete
In aid of the St Tiddles in the Font Restoration Fund.
Petty Complaints Ombudsman
Giving your batshit insade complaints the respect they deserve.
Out and About
The International Toast Museum and other attractions.
Maxi-Lingual for Motorists
Curse fluently in over six languages.
Echo...Echo
Mr Clutterbuck has an echo... echo... echo.
Marmaduke Irksome: A Retrospective
Talking crap in the House of Commons.
Have you got what it takes to stay in the country?
Be a great Briton. Or get out.
Sugar Free Vegan Diesel
There's no butter in it either.
Things Fall Over All the Time
Arthur's train only has wheels on one side.
Harry Carson is Watching You
It's a man's life as a modern store detective.
Greygolds Residential Care Home
Where quality care costs extra.
Old Clothes
Trading Standards warn against dangerously out of date clobber.
Help a Pirate in Need
These buccaneers desperately need your support.
The Discovery of Vitamin G
Great moments in science.
Product Recall
Some of our biscuits may contain canoes.
Gerald de Scooter's Restaurant Guide
Top notch swanky grub,
Neighbor Nightmares: The Movie
Two men, one drive, no prisoners.
Shave the Moon
Our hairy satellite.
Extreme Dinosaurs
Skateboarding plesiosaurs, rollerblading raptors and a brontosaurus with a space hopper.
Award for Outstanding Celebrity
New awards for old has-beens
History in Focus
An elbow shaker and a lickspittling mumblecrust
Shark Fishing
Fergus Pong has a shark problem.
Piffin: A Mediterranean Paradise
Boasting Europe's biggest landfill.
Tony Fold's Country Rambles
with guest rambler, Rory Triffic.
Comfy Dinners
A meal fit for a bed.
Kicking Up a New Stink
Breakthrough leads to discovery of new smell.
Mathew Sandblaster-Trogg
A bouncy little freak.
Pigmongering
Fergus Pong introduces us to this dying art.
Here Comes Barry Smith
Wise words from Shepton Bassett's number one coach driver.
Jars-4-u
Get your jars opened by a professional jar opener!
For Kids of All Ages...
Introducing our new range of children's books.
Cheese Genome Finally Cracked!
Scientific proof of the existence of cheese.
New Rights for Fictional Characters
It's no longer ok to call Oliver Twist a twat.
A Fistful of Sausages
Brought to you by the meat marketing board.
It's All in the Game
Classic board games from the past.
Munchy Burger
Can you cut the mustard as a top burger executive?
International Arse Kicking
Bottom kicking for fun and profit.
National Consumer Instructions Awards
Confusing, badly translated or just plain weird.
Scoop!
Local frog trapped in drain.
It's a Fact
Fun facts from the Fact Master. Fank you.
The Devil's Arse On Tour
Famous cavern to tour country
Bad Grandma Grammar
The inappropriate erection of words.
Cold Fusion Sandwiches
A new era in atomic lunches.
Well Stuffed
Rogue taxidermist terrorises family pets.
A Career in Printing
Why not specialise in the colour green?
Persons Unknown
Mr Frampton is looking for somoeone to blame.
Cash for Pets
Trade in your unwanted dog.
Fine Dining
with Woodroffe Spanker
Jaggedy
Mrs Lubricant wants a tidiery Britain.
Announcing the iSpong
Totally changing the way that people spong in the future.
Optimum Leaning Angles
How to look cool and interesting at an angle.
Sounds of Nature
Relax with chickens.
The World Bullshit Record
Team bonding, goal setting and table top brainstorming
Christopher Columbus Discoveries Inc
If you've lost it, Chris will find it.
Puzzle Page!
With the amazing Mr Ooluv.
Jazz Bomb
Raw unadulterated jazz.
Twenty-First Century Scouting
A woggle for the new miilenium.
Mind Your Wind
Issued by the Ministry of Gas, 1942.
The Wonderful World of Ants
Ants, ants, ants, ants!
Sofas are From Mars...
The race to put the first sofa on Mars.
In the market for a used policeman?
How to spot a dodgy copper.
Mr Bannerman's Evidence
Courtroom confusion.
Operation Mutton
The millitary applications of sheep during WWII.
Dilbert's Donkey Solutions
Professional donkey storage.
No Offence
The Right Honourable David McGog unapologetically apologises.
Introducing Flying Squirrels
Flying into the side of a house at forty knots...
Empire of the Flowers
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Operation Growbag.
Dark Batter
Is the missing mass in the Universe actually pastry?
Amateur Stamp Collector Collector
Want to know how much to pay for a Nigel Tomlinson?
Noblock and Kerfanderbuck
All smileytangled cockrock strop.
Mr Gammon's Objections
Shepton Bassett Council Responds
World of the Wacky
With the Amazing Mr Ooluv
Maisy Donnington's Cheese Etiquette Page
Your guide to the wonderful world of cheese.
British Gas
Sending foreign gas back home.
Bare-knuckle Snooker
The biggest threat to law and order since badminton
Happismiles Emergency Clown Service
For when your regular clown lets you down.
The Thoroughfare of Success
Dick Smidgen teaches you how to live your life but better.
Food Banking
MPs praise growing industry.
Cooker Island
Where the toasters roam free.
Travel News
Cowboys on the line and bricked up tunnels,
Know Your Birds
Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Modern Day Bird Warfare
The Trivial Accident Group
Have you been slightly inconvenienced at work?
Galactic Phrasebook
Learn to speak Venusian!
Professional Scarer
GRRRRRR! AAAAARRRRGH! GRRRR!
Evening Courses
Pseudo-academic subjects and frivolous arts and crafts courses.
Dream Strides
Emergency trousers delivered direct to your anxiety nightmare.
Short and Curly
Unlocking the power of curly hair.
New Deposits of Earwax Discovered
Significant quantities discovered in Mr Harry Frome
The Drivelling
Troubled Hammer film gets new release.
Historic Knees
Knees of outstanding natural beauty.
The Long Range Trouser Forecast
Overnight corduroys and occasional dungarees.
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