Dead Peasants by Paul Farnsworth :: The Everyday Dreams of a Rock and Roll Postman

2 September 2005

Let's Get This Show on the Road

Hello, good evening (or morning) and welcome to my brand new blog. Yes, I've finally taken the bit between my teeth, set my shoulder to the wheel, put my faith in the mighty microchip and launched myself into the blogosphere with all the grace and athleticism of a pachyderm plunging headlong into custard. This will be the place where you will be able to find out what's happening with me (boring) and my band, Kanndid (yes!)

Thankfully the recent theft from our rehearsal room hasn't been too much of a blow. We have every faith in the local constabulary to track down the perpetrators of this dastardly crime. The insurance covered most of the equipment (except my guitar) so that's good news. Personally I think that 'thieves' were responsible. Will reckons that it might have been 'robbers', but he's not ruling out the possibility that it was 'villains', and Sticks said he wouldn't be surprised if 'bandits' were involved. Gray said it must have been a bunch of pikey bastards, and if he ever caught them he'd 'cripple the fuckers'.

Gray's been a bit irritable lately, and this incident hasn't helped. I think he's getting a bit restless, musically speaking, and he's talking about shifting the emphasis of the band from Blues-Soul to Blues-Punk. Punk isn't really my thing, but I was outvoted and them's the breaks. This could be an exciting new direction for the band, and that can only be a good thing.

Change is certainly in the air. At the moment we're all a little edgy as we wait for the results of our A Levels. I'll be off to Uni and we will have to think long and hard about the future of the band. In the meantime, I'm keeping body and soul together by taking a temporary job as a postman, which will no doubt provide me with many an amusing anecdote for chat shows and interviews!

Finally, I'll sign off this entry with some fantastic news. Drum roll please! We are delighted to announce that next weekend Kanndid will be playing a guest spot at The Cartwheel in Exeter Street. Admittedly, the timing could be a little better as I'm still not fully recovered from the accident, but the doctor expects the plaster cast will be off by then. And, of course, I'm going to have to dip into the money my aunt left me to get a new guitar, but this is an opportunity not to be missed. I'm told that the venue can hold six hundred, which is more than three times the audience we normally play to. No more village halls and social clubs for us! So if you're looking for a great night of blues and soul - and punk - we'll see you there!

Bubye

No Comments Keywords: Thieves, Punk, Gigs

29 September 2005

Mistaken Identity

Greetings to our legions of fans - if the four people who 'liked' our Facebook page can be collectively described as 'legions'. Still, we only launched it six months ago and I guess it takes time for word to get around. I'm checking it two or three times a day and I'm certain it won't be long until those four become four hundred.

The imminent release of our new video is bound to get things moving. Oh yes, I thought that would get your attention! Gray has written this great new song and a friend of his has offered to produce the video for it. Of course, these things aren't cheap, but luckily I was able to dip into my inheritance and the wheels are now in motion.

Talking of imminent releases, you'll be pleased to learn that I was freed from police custody without charge. That whole 'line-up' business was just a case of mistaken identity - it seems I bear an uncanny likeness to the 'Church Street flasher' hence all that fuss in the local paper, not to mention the people spitting at me in the street and the death threats. Still, you know what they say, there's no such thing as bad publicity!

Other than that, things have been a bit slow in the world of Kanndid, as Gray and Will settle into their respective seats of higher learning. I didn't get into university, of course, which is good news really as it means I can concentrate on the band. And the really great thing is that my temporary position with Her Britannic Majesty's Distributors of Mail is now permanent. Yes, I continue to walk the streets through rain, sleet and snow somewhere in your neighbourhood while you're still tucked up in bed. The mail must get through!

Thanks to everybody who turned up to our gig at The Cartwheel. It was a fantastic evening, most people thought it was ok and we got an acceptable review in the local rag (in between an advert for panty liners and an article about a mystery puma that's been seen in the memorial gardens). The fact that the audience wasn't as big as we expected turned out to be a good thing really, as it made the gig more intimate.

About the fight - I know there was a bit of an atmosphere after Sticks was sick on the pool table and then called the deputy manager a Nazi, but I felt that some of the clientele were already in a pretty ugly mood by the time we finished our set, so I don't think we were entirely to blame. I'm sure the management will see it like that, anyway, and I'm certain we'll be invited back.

See you next time

No Comments Keywords: Video, Flasher, Punch Up

27 November 2005

After All, It Was My Blood

Okay, so it looks like a couple of people 'unliked' our Facebook page, and I think it suggests that social networking isn't the best arena for our music. It's been an interesting learning experience. No news yet on the video. Turns out it's more expensive than we envisaged and I've had to write out another cheque to cover the cost of an editing suite. Then Gray's friend had to 'go away for a little while', which has delayed things further, but it should be worth it in the end.

My hand is healing nicely after I was savaged by the memorial gardens puma. Honestly, I swear it was the real thing, not some overgrown moggy like most people are saying. I got a bit of a shock when I was saddled with the bill for cleaning the bandstand, but I suppose it's only fair. After all, it was my blood.

But anyway, on to more positive news. It's that time of year again and right now we're concentrating on the local radio Battle of the Bands contest. We've learnt a lot since last year, when one of the judges described us as being 'the musical equivalent of a bucket of three week old offal'. It's very valuable to get that kind of feedback - we have taken some of his less colourful and abusive comments on board and I now have a strong feeling that this will be our year. I've been inspired to write three new songs, which I think are amongst the best things I've ever done, but Gray now wants us to experiment with a punk-reggae sound and says that my songs don't really fit the new 'ethos'. And I think that it's great that he should feel like that. We have to keep moving forward, after all.

Talking about moving forward, we hit a bit of a snag after Sticks soiled himself in the back of Will's dad's van, and Will's dad said that we couldn't use it any more. Fortunately, Gray knew where we could get a used Transit for next to nothing, and which wouldn't need much spending on it to get it roadworthy. So my bank account has taken another hit, I'm afraid, but we're mobile again and that's the important thing. Thankfully, I've just been offered some extra shifts at the Post Office, so that should top up the band's coffers!

And we also hope to see a bit of the folding stuff coming our way thanks to our brand new EP on iTunes. That's right - four new songs, three by Gray and one by Will, available now! If the scores of people who keep telling us to release our material are anything to go by, the EP should do really well. So come on chaps, buy it and do us proud!

Signing off

No Comments Keywords: Puma, Offal, Van Soilage

14 January 2006

I Feel Sorry For the Dog

As you might expect, we're all still a little shell-shocked following the explosion. For those of you who didn't see the footage on the news, our rehearsal room was totalled and the resulting conflagration spread to the neighbouring newsagent's. It's a good job I was able to use the remainder of my inheritance, otherwise we'd still be paying for the damage well into our retirement. And I think that the whole affair has taught Sticks a very valuable lesson about gas appliances, so at least there has been some good to come out of it. I just can't get over what happened to that poor dog - but Sticks reckoned it was on its last legs anyway, and a raging fireball was probably the best way for it to go. Everything, as they say, is for the best in this best of all possible worlds.

Big thumbs up to the three people who downloaded our EP! I know one of those was Gray's dad and the other was Sticks's cousin Mags, but whoever the mystery third person was, thanks! It's some consolation after the Battle of the Bands competition, anyway. I think we played the best we've ever played, and considering the high standard of all the acts on the bill there's really no shame in coming last. It's just a pity that the judges had to resort to abuse, and I felt that their quite unnecessary use of words like 'felch', 'pustule' and 'ball-bag' was taking constructive criticism just a little too far.

We're still waiting for Gray's friend to turn up to start work on our video. We were a little concerned when we found at that a Peruvian gentleman is now living in his flat, but I expect it will all turn out all right.

Meanwhile, I feel that the band may be entering a new phase, and there are some exciting new developments. 'Will' has decided to change his named to 'Wheel', for some reason, and is busily trying to 'reformat' the band's image - which is great. He's doing some really imaginative work. Meanwhile Gray is concentrating on acoustic material and has been making some solo guitar recordings, which is really quite positive. I think that not having the rest of the band on the record creates more space and allows the song to breathe. And anyway, I've not really felt up to being involved, ever since my mum tried to poison me. The nurses at the hospital secure unit have said that she's calmed down now, and the police have told me that they don't intend to pursue the matter. This is just the kind of good news we're been hoping for. All in all I feel that things are really looking up. Here's to the future!

TTFN

No Comments Keywords: Fireball, Abuse, Poisoning Incident

23 February 2006

This Is The End

So that's it - Kanndid is no more. Perhaps the raid by the anti-terrorist squad was an omen. I mean, what would I know about germ warfare anyway? It was a misunderstanding, I realise, but when you're laid up in hospital after being run over by an armoured personnel carrier, you have plenty of time to think about the future. Especially when your still mobile and entirely uninjured band mates don't take time out of their busy schedules to come and visit you. Although I gather that their lives have not been uneventful in my absence. Sticks has certainly been keeping himself occupied, if the Weekly Advertiser is anything to go by. In the space of a single evening he managed to start a fight in the Fox and Trumpet, was accused of gross indecency in the Seven Stars and had to be forcibly removed from the King's Head by a police dog team. So that's three more places that we're never going to play again. I've had a note from 'Wheel', meanwhile, in which he announces his intention to go to South America and devote his life to the cultivation of exotic beans - in consequence of which he says he 'can't commit in any meaningful way to maintaining the harmony of the group'. Whatever that means. And as for Gray, for whom the phrase 'musical differences' appears to have been specifically coined, he's going through his fucking disco phase and is pretty much in a world of his own. Still, it's not prevented him from being offered a solo contract with an independent label.

So I've had enough. I've finally realised what a mug I've been to think that we could ever make a go of it. I'm presented with a choice between pursuing a pointless fantasy with a disintegrating band that ran out of steam years ago, or facing up to the real world. Life is too short to spend it with your head in the clouds. There's a chance of promotion at the post office, so it's time to knock Kanndid on the head. This has just been the futile dream of a rock and roll mailman. It's been fun while it lasted, but now it's time to move on.

Goodbye

No Comments Keywords: Death, Doom, Disaster

15 November 2010

Recalled to Life

We're back! And I thought that we'd hung up our rock and roll trousers for good. Four years on, three of us are married, one of us has a kid and I have a very real chance of getting that promotion at the depot. It seemed like Kanndid were just a distant memory - but next week, and for one night only, the original line up will be back together for a special performance at the Music Week Festival. Yes, next week Graham, Will, Sticks and me will take to the stage one more time, and I am really looking forward to it. So, will this be our farewell gig? Who knows? We're not making any promises, but it could be the start of something new. Perhaps we're at the beginning of Kanndid 'phase two'. So here's to the future - watch this space!

No Comments Keywords: Kicking, Screaming

About

Welcome to the official blog of the band Kanndid.

We are:

Simon Kann - Guitar, vocals

Graham Labbatt - Guitar, vocals

Will Fenton - Bass

Gary 'Sticks' Panglos - Drums