M773-R
JOINT STRIKE CARROT
|
| Developed for use by both the Navy and Airforce, the Joint Strike Carrot represents the very latest in high-performance, computer co-ordinated military vegetables. With an effective range of 600 nautical miles and a sell-by date of a week next Tuesday, the Joint Strike Carrot looks like it will become an important milestone in the development of 21st century airborne groceries. |  Piloted by highly trained
RAF paraturnips. These can be  dropped
silently behind enemy lines and sneak into hostile encampments by cleverly disguising
themselves as some other, more innocent vegetable - such as a radish, beetroot or
weasel*. Once inside, they can easily wipe out a whole platoon using a combination
of biting, strangulation and advanced karate. Nasty. |
|
 The Joint Strike Carrot
comes fitted with two wing-mounted high-explosive courgettes, which the makers claim are
capable of accurately striking an averaged sized dinner from a distance of 500 miles, without even splashing the
gravy. It doesn't sound that impressive, but when you consider that we're basically
talking about a couple of overgrown gherkins, you begin to recognise the true significance
of the advances that have been made in the face of such overwhelming odds. |
*Please note, the weasel is not technically a vegetable, although they can give you a nasty nip when roused, and when cornered are easily as dangerous as a cauliflower or leek. |