Flattening Snowdon

The Welsh Tourist Board has just announced a scheme to level Mount Snowdon to make it easier for wheelchair access. "Snowdon is one of our finest national treasures," said a spokesman. "People come here from all over the world to admire the spectacular scenery, enjoy the wildlife and take advantage of the clear mountain air. It's just a pity that it's so bloody high, really - but once we've flattened it, that won't be a problem, and more people will be able to enjoy this fantastic landscape."

This announcement represents a significant investment in UK tourism and follows hot on the heels of recent initiatives to fill in Coniston Water so that it can be used as a skate park, wallpaper the white cliffs of Dover and fill Cheddar Gorge with actual cheddar.