Blast proof Furniture

Is there really a demand for blast-proof furniture? The good people at Comfystuff Furniture Stores seem to think so, which is why they now stock an extensive selection of chairs, sofas and tables that are capable of withstanding major explosions.

"The new Snuggledown three seater will survive anything short of a direct hit," marketing director Terry Pine told us. "Anyone sheltering beneath it has absolutely no worries about being wounded by shrapnel. And that's guaranteed. We also have a wide range of footstools that have been pounded by artillery fire at close range and have come through without displaying any signs of distress. Even our occasional tables have been subjected to prolonged machinegun fire, with the only symptoms of trauma being a few small scratches. And they will polish out fairly easily - guaranteed."

Mr Pine went on to say that the company's furniture was available with interest-free credit, and customers would need to pay nothing until next March. This, of course, is all very well but we still couldn't understand why anyone would need a chest of drawers capable of resisting an airstrike. Mr Pine's only response to this query was to fix us with a long, pained and forlorn stare and mutter, "You don't have kids, do you?"

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

My Favourite Nuts

Sir Christian Pyle shows us his nuts

Promo Image

Factor88

Reverse the 412 signs of aging

Promo Image

Pretty Pictures

Keeping senior management out of trouble with colouring books.

Promo Image

Nail-It

Your complete security solution

Promo Image

How to Beat Stress

Maisy Donnington brings your blood pressure down.

Promo Image

Emergency Kebabs

Acclaim for new venture.

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...