Speedybus

Hartlepool based bus company Speedybus is celebrating a one hundred percent success rating in a survey carried out earlier this month. Customers awarded the company the maximum number of points on a range of questions covering punctuality, value for money and customer service, whereas none of the firm's competitors scored anything at all.

"I think this is testament to the trust that our customers have in us," said managing director Henry Crumpet. "And I'm confident that we will continue to maintain that trust in the year ahead."

What the company have been less transparent about was the size of the sample. It appears that only a limited number of customers were surveyed. A very limited number. One, in fact - a Mrs Edna Womble of 42 Slack Jaw Lane. Admittedly, Mrs Womble was very positive about the company, and responded that she particularly liked the bright blue colour of the buses and the fact that the driver always smiled at her when she got aboard with her shopping.

Nevertheless, Speedybus have dismissed the suggestion that the size of the sample in any way invalidates the survey. "Mrs Womble is a very well respected figure in this area," said Mr Crumpet. "Her opinion means a great deal - indeed, it can make or break a business. It was Edna that brought down the mini-market in the high street and I have it on good authority that she once reduced the man in the butcher's to tears. If Mrs Womble says that she likes the bright blue colour of our buses, then that's pretty much all the recommendation that you need."