The Four Dimensional Hole Punch

A company in California is about to launch what it calls the first 'four dimensional hole punch'. Avatar Office Solutions, a firm specialising in 'new and innovative office management solutions', as it says on its website, claims that this new development will revolutionise the world of filing and set the stationery industry on the road to a whole new era of multi-dimensional paperwork.

In layman's terms, the hole punch works by using an array of precisely calibrated lasers to burn not one, but two holes - one of which is superimposed over the other. The effect of both holes trying to occupy the same space results in an unstable matter vacuum which can only resolve itself by punching a quantum tunnel through to another dimension.

"It's very complicated," said research and development director Jackie Paper. "But basically it means that your average ring binder will be able to store ten times its usual capacity."

The 4D hole punch weighs slightly less than two tons, requires its own nuclear generator to power it and is housed in a modestly sized concrete blockhouse in Fresno. The company hope to have a smaller, battery operated model on the market by Christmas.

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