Fixing the Fan Belt on the Large Hadron Collider

In February 2013 CERN announced that the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) would be turned off for a period of two years to allow repairs to be carried out. Some months earlier, boffins had noticed an unusual whining sound every time they fired up the accelerator but ignored it at first, thinking that it would wear itself out. However, now that the Higgs particle has been found, the LHC is standing idle while scientists invent a new particle for it to look for, and CERN decided to use the downtime to finally get it sorted.

The man they called in was Colin Wilbert of Wilbert's Automotive Repairs in Dagenham, and he's optimistic that he will soon have it up and running. "It's probably just the fan belt," he told us. "Or possibly the wheel bearings - which could be a bit tricky, 'cos they don't make 'em for this model any more. But that's the worst-case scenario. It could be something quite simple. When I was called out by Fermilab to investigate a suspicious knocking sound in the Tevatron it turned out to be a tube of Rolos that someone had left in the glove box."

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Sir Barnaby Tonk Shines a Light

Introducing lamp posts to Europe

Promo Image

Know Your Birds

Major General Barmy-Phipps Discusses Modern Day Bird Warfare

Promo Image

Optimum Leaning Angles

How to look hip and cool and trendy and windswept

Promo Image

Payday Porker

Get cash fast!

Promo Image

Art

Selwyn Peach paints Elephants

Promo Image

Darrens

Darrens are dying out in Essex.

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...