Yesterday we ran an advert for a Tree Warden at Broxborough Borough Council. Following a communication from the council, it has come to our attention that this advertisement was erroneous and that no such vacancy exists. The council has informed us that Mr Peasmould, who describes himself in the advertisement as the 'Chief Environmental Officer', no longer occupies that post. Indeed, he left the authority as a result of an unspecified incident at a local donkey sanctuary, following which the council was quick to terminate his employment and make earnest apologies to all the donkeys involved.
The authority would also like to correct any misapprehensions that may have arisen with regard to its attitude towards trees. Broxborough Borough Council extends a cordial welcome to visiting trees and assures them that they can park in any of its dedicated parking bays without fear of interference. Stories about elms being clamped have been greatly exaggerated.
Finally, the council is at great pains to stress that, while it welcomes applications for employment from all interested parties, it would prefer that potential employees download the appropriate application forms from its website rather than sending in pictures of themselves in their pants. This method of selection was discontinued for all but the most senior positions some twenty years ago. Whilst it is gratified by the recent surge of interest, Broxborough Borough Council requests that applicants consider the feelings of the poor girl employed to open the mail and desist from submitting such communications in future.