For Kids of All Ages...
Introducing the new range of children's books from Obvious Publishing.
Kids books are one of the most lucrative rackets out there, and they're dead easy - big friendly typefaces, lots of pictures, throw in a talking pig or an enchanted sword and pretty soon you're rolling in it. What we're trying to say is that we see no reason why we shouldn't get in on the action, so here are some of the titles that you can look forward to buying from our soon-to-be-launched children's publishing imprint.
The Magic Fridge
TV celebrity Norris Plunk dips his toe into the children's book market with this tale of an enchanted fridge. It tells the story of the Taylor family, who are delighted with their purchase of a new top-of-the-range refrigerator. But upon opening the door they are astonished to find it's a portal to anywhere in the world they care to go. Stepping through, they are instantly whisked to distant sleepy shores, exciting foreign metropolises and exotic and wonderful remote landscapes. Unfortunately, it means they have nowhere to keep the milk, and the plot follows their efforts to get a refund.
Space Wizards from Mars
vs Vampire Dinosaurs
TV celebrity turned author Terrence Photon delivers a book that has almost everything. It's a frenetic tale of spacey laser monster shooty bloodsucking magic. Unfortunately he forgot to put zombies in it, but apart from that it pretty much covers all the bases.
The Snail and the Chicken
The Snail and the Chicken is a modern update of a classic tale from TV celebrity and now bestselling children's writer Becky Toot. You're probably familiar with the story: when Farmer Pong dies, a snail and a chicken inherit the farm and have to learn to work together to make ends meet. Becky Toot has brought the story right up to date and in her version the farm is a community centre, the snail is an illegal immigrant with a heroin addiction and the chicken is a lesbian. The bit with the runaway tractor is hilarious.
The Twat in the Hat
Reverend G.P. Dingus
First published in 1972, this book has enchanted generations of children with its silly rhymes and its colourful illustrations, and turned its author, the Reverend Dingus, into a TV celebrity. This edition has been printed in black and white on really cheap paper so that we can maximise profits.
The Old Man and the Crisps
The earliest known version of The Old Man and the Crisps was published by the Brothers Grimm, although it is based on a story dating back to the fifteenth century. It is essentially a cautionary tale about an old man who discovers a bottomless packet of crisps that can produce any type or flavour snack that you could name. At first the man is content to share his bounty with his neighbours, providing crisps for all the village. But he soon becomes selfish and chooses to keep all of his crisps himself, building a warehouse full of barrel upon barrel of different snacks - salt and vinegar, prawn cocktail, Frazzles and even Quavers. In the end his greed proves his undoing when his warehouse collapses under the colossal weight and he is crushed to death by Cheesy Wotsits.
Fat Uncle Barry
When Fat Uncle Barry comes to stay all hell breaks loose in the Ringworm family in this hilarious book from TV celebrity and established children's author Rufus Kooper. Barry has just come out of prison after serving three years for fraud, so it's only natural that Mrs Ringworm should be worried that he might lead seven-year-old Timmy astray. It turns out that Fat Uncle Barry is now going straight and all he wants to do is drink beer and eat pies. But the boot is on the other foot and it's Timmy's turn to be the bad influence. He masterminds a plot to defraud a local homeless charity and persuades Fat Uncle Barry to help. Against all odds, the crazy criminal pair manage to pull off their kooky caper, getting away scot-free with almost half a million pounds, causing the charity to close its shelter and throwing forty vulnerable homeless adults out into the street. With hilarious consequences.
Taken from The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2021
Buy from Amazon UK.
Buy from Amazon US.