Energy Saving Matches

Amateur inventor Jez Moonbeam has come up with an energy saving match. Both the heat and light generated by the new match is equivalent to around 90% of the output of a regular match, but at only three watts it uses just a fraction of the power. Moonbeam admits that there are still one or two problems, not least of which is that fact that, for some reason, it cannot set light to charcoal. This obviously makes it unsuitable for barbecues. Also, in the vicinity of some gasses the flame turns pink and drops off the little stick, which is fun to watch but can become irritating after a while.

Moonbeam is planning to address these issues at some point in the future, but right now he is working on a side project. The inventor wants to develop a proper safety match. Even though safety matches can only be lit by striking them against a special surface, Moonbeam doesn't believe that they are genuinely 'safe'. It''s still possible to burn yourself with them, he says, and even once they're spent you can poke somebody's eye out with one. The Moonbeam Safety Match, he tells us, will be made of rubber, it will emit a warning alarm once it's struck and will only be available under special licence.

The Annual 2018

COMING SOON: The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

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