Aqua sapiens

There are two ways to achieve scientific glory. The first is to discover something entirely novel and unexpected, and offer a radically fresh and incisive new insight into the phenomenon. The other is to make shit up.

Many people were of the opinion that Dr Thaddeus Kleenex had chosen the latter route when he recently announced his theory that water is evolving. With the exception of lemurs, every living thing on the planet needs water to survive - be it still, sparkling or with a twist of lemon. But Dr Kleenex claims that he has discovered a new mutation of water that has cleverly learnt to avoid being drunk by using a variety of ingenious techniques, including suddenly changing to a gas, altering its refractive index and disguising itself as Sunny Delight.

"I first discovered this extraordinary adaptation while out walking in the Lake District," Dr Kleenex explained. "I chanced, by accident, on a pretty little stream but as soon as it saw me it scurried away and hid under a rock. Fortunately I was able to sneak up on it from behind with a bucket and bring it back to my lab for study."

Dr Kleenex's observations of his so-called Aqua sapiens have yet to be confirmed, but experts are not confident that there will be any substance to his claims. Especially as Kleenex's previous assertion that he had discovered a species of bioluminescent rock has since been thoroughly discredited.

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Historic Knees

Preserving the nation's heritage

Promo Image

One-Sided Dice

New dice for fatalists.

Promo Image

The Licepummeller

Knock 'em for six

Promo Image

Skydiving

Ramrod Adventure Holidays: Skydiving holidays with a difference

Promo Image

Mind Your Wind

The enemy is listening for your flatulence. Watch your emissions.

Promo Image

Auras by Post

Buff up your chakras

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...