Quickfire Questions
Host: ...and remember kids, don't you go trying that at home. Okay then, it's time once again for that part of the show that we call 'Quickfire Questions' in which we quiz a famous celebrity for a minute about their latest project. This week's guest is the renowned novelist Brendan Kitts. A big hand please! Hello Brendan.
Brendan Kitts: Hello.
Host: And Brendan's going to be telling us all about his new book. So if you're ready Brendan, your minute starts... Now! Okay, so your latest book 'A Rocketful of Stardust' is described as a scathing attack on popular media. Am I right?
Brendan Kitts: Yes, it's... it's actually called 'A Pocketful of Stardust'.
Host: Wonderful. So it's a sci-fi novel, huh, Brendan? And are there many rockets featured in the book?
Brendan Kitts: No, no, you've got it wrong. It's called 'A Pocketful of Stardust', you see. It's about the modern cult of celebrity and, and -
Host: Fantastic. I love sci-fi. I'd rather watch a movie, but books are okay. Tell me, are there any pictures in the book, Brendan?
Brendan Kitts: - and the audience's gradual lack of attachment to, um - to, um - to modern media.
Host: Great. And monsters, Brendan? I bet there are some really horrible monsters, yes?
Brendan Kitts: What? No, no... It's not a sci-fi novel. There are no monsters.
Host: Oh, but I love monsters. There must be bad guys. You can't write a sci-fi book without bad guys.
Brendan Kitts: No! No! It's not a... There are no monsters - not unless you count the media executives who constantly brainwash us with, with, with a diet of trivia and nonsense and pointless ephemera.
Host: Whoa! Brainwashing - great! So, these aliens have come to Earth to brainwash us and turn us into mindless simpletons. Cool!
Brendan Kitts: There are no aliens! The point I'm making is that we're already mindless simpletons, unable to digest anything more challenging than soundbites, slogans and reality television. My book is about the way in which our literary and dramatic traditions have been eroded in order to -
Host: Okay then, that's just wonderful. Well, your minute's almost up, Brendan. Just time for one last word from you.
Brendan Kitts: What?
Host: That'll do. So folks, Brendan's new book 'A Rocketful of Stardust' is out next Monday. Should be a damn good read, and if you're like me you'll be looking forward to the film version. Okay, so time for my next guest. You may know her from Celebrity Abattoir, and Eat Shit, I'm A Celebrity - here to promote her latest dancercise DVD, it's...
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The University of the
Bleeding Obvious:
Volume 1
The first collection of material from The University of the Bleeding Obvious, includes bouncing sheep, Nuclear Gardening and much more.
The University of the
Bleeding Obvious:
Volume 2
The second volume of material - contains Oven Chimps, Invitation to a Monks' Tea Party, Nobby Wentworth's Pet Surgery and more.
Dead Peasants
Fifteen new articles, published 2012, including Jacob Wanting, Baron Havok Regrets and Chip Papers, Doggy Doings and Sick.
Kicking and Screaming
Includes Exploding Dogs, Pigmongering, Scrufty's Magic Juju Shoppe and Empire of the Flowers.
The Bongo Lectures
Dr Adolphous Bongo presents his twisted views on the subjects of Moles, Farm Machinery, Shopping and more.
Death Doom & Disaster
When Geoff Dickson left work one foggy evening he didn't expect to wind up being chased across an alien landscape by giant snails.
Goldilocks and
Free Bears
An epic struggle for justice, featuring, amongst other things, the Loch Ness Monster and a potato with gunshot wounds.
Amateur Stamp Collector Collector
Want to know how much to pay for a 'Nigel Tomlinson'?
Cock
The magazine for young gentlemen
Dr Bongo's Self-Diagnosis
Diagnose your problem with this online tool, you diseased wretch
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