Post Nuns

Post Nuns

In a surprise move, nuns are to be installed in 70 main post offices across the UK.

If this pilot scheme is successful, a further four hundred could find their way into smaller, local branches. However, the initiative has been slammed by Martin Pike of the National Nun Awareness Association.

Incredibly irresponsible

"I think this is an incredibly irresponsible scheme," Pike told us. "It might seem like a nice idea to have a nun in your local post office. Certainly it would be convenient, and I can see how it might benefit smaller communities who perhaps don't have any other access to nuns. But the plain fact is that a post office is not a natural habitat for a nun. They can easily become disorientated and frightened, and in such a state they can be extremely dangerous."

Extremely unstable

Mr Pike may well have a valid point. Recent wind tunnel research involving nuns has indicated that they are extremely unstable, and are liable to explode when placed next to a heat source, when left in direct sunlight, or on Tuesdays.

"It would be far better to use some kind of artificial nun," Mr Pike suggests. "Not only would this be safer and more reliable, but you could turn them off at night to save on electricity."

 

 

Return to Archive 3

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Out now from Obvious Records

Records what we made up

Promo Image

Data Farming

Fergus Pong invites us to his rural information hub.

Promo Image

Bongo's Books

Selections from Dr Bongo's dazzling literary career

Promo Image

Thinking of Buying an Octopus?

What you need to know

Promo Image

Carter-Pierrepoint

Particulate mapping of key delivery nodes, ramped attainment actualisation, meta-directional outflow priorities and correctional forecasting (Tuesdays only).

Promo Image

Donkeys

Bid to reclassify donkeys as vegetables.

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

28 March 2020: How to be Sweary

26 March 2020: Dream Strides

24 March 2020: Mindlessness: An Introduction

www.bleeding-obvious.co.uk
Copyright ©