Pixie Guard

 

Pesky pixies need never be a problem again

Pixies! We all know that the little bastards get everywhere.

Once they're in your home they can cause havoc, gnawing through electrical cables, clogging up vacuum cleaners and interfering with household pets.

For many years now, people have tried all sorts of methods for dealing with pixie infestation, but the problem is that no one has successfully identified how they are able to gain entry into your home. Traditional wisdom has it that they get in down the chimney, but more recent theories have centred around the possibility of them crawling up through the plug hole in the bath.

However, Derek Cushion, Professor of Elves and Other Faerie Folk at Tweedledum University, has recently discovered that they are able to infiltrate most places of residence by limboing under doors.

To counter this problem, Cushion has come up with an ingenious new invention: Pixie Guard. Pixie Guard can be fitted quite easily to the bottom of any door, hatchway or flap. With Pixie Guard you can finally keep the little sods out once and for all!

Pixie Guard pack shot

 

Return to Archive 2

The UBO Annual 2018

The UBO Annual 2020

Coming Soon

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Support a Helpless Pirate

Could you spare just three doubloons a day?

Promo Image

Fun Run

Council sued under Trades Descriptions Act.

Promo Image

Petunia Mulch - Plant Psychologist

If you've got a drooping rose bush, a sagging hydrangea or a bent tulip then Petunia Mulch can help.

Promo Image

Munchy Burger

Application Form Part B

Promo Image

Flyover

Woman demolished to make way for development.

Promo Image

Diagnosis

This week we look at Tourettes

 

Teaching Carrots to FlyTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

20 November 2019: Self Portrait

15 November 2019: Twatism

12 November 2019: It's All in the Game